[Intro]
Don't stop, we don't quit
Epic Beard Men, we the ultimate

[Verse 1 B. Dolan]
Fading fading back from black on the mattress in Hackensack
We in Jersey birds chirping trees it hurts to breathe
Surgically reconstruct last night’s blurry scene
Urgency quiet kinda worries me

You ever get that feeling like you gotta be somewhere? (Yes)
Now I’m creepin’ down the stairs in my underwear (Dress)
Okay, my phone was in the microwave with 3% left
Displayed 30 missed calls, voicemails and texts
So lemme check

[Sage Francis]
Hey, B, just checkin’ to see if you’re up
Got the early flight to Europe, word up
Yo, man, you gettin’ my texts? Hit me back
If you’re already here I’m around back
Where you at?
Boy! Answer your phone!
It’s check-in time this the second time
This why we supposed to do this ahead of time
It’s packed with people here, so I’mma step in line
Skip ahead counter 9

[Chorus]
Shin splints (time to take flight)
Shin splints (run)
Shin splints (come on we gotta go)
Ahh

[Verse 2 B. Dolan]
Had to fix a flat tire with a gypsy cab driver
Doing 60 in the breakdown lane, hit a divider
Though that’s not the kind of mileage that I’m known to embrace
I told ‘im "take us to warp, Ace. I’m tryin’ to fold space'

When I hopped out the Taurus, no bull
He disappeared in a pink vape cloud (cool)
I’m a generous critic. Had to give him four stars
I was beggin’ forgiveness, Sage was waitin’ at the door like
[Sage Francis]
You. Are. Late
[B. Dolan]
My bad
[Sage Francis]
So late
[Attendant]
Sir, your bag is overweight
[Sage Francis]
Alright start dumpin’ shit now we gotta go to the gate
[B. Dolan]
I’m outta space
Gotta couple things here that you can take
[Sage Francis]
No, no way
Throw the beard essential oils in the trash
[B. Dolan]
Why you mad?
Get the vinyl out the carry-on and we can make the dash
[Sage Francis]
We just need our instrumentals and our merch to sell
Gotta travel lightly or your legs'll hurt like hell

[Chorus]
Shin splints (I’m in the passing lane)
Shin splints (even if the car’s stolen)
Shin splints (time to take flight)
Ahh
[Verse 3 B. Dolan]
Made it to security and you already know
The TSA was puttin’ on a helluva show
There’s no liquids (No!) aerosols (No!) gels (No!) creams (No!)
Quick quick, here we go, line up with the screen
I was tryna be discreet when they pulled me outta line
10 minutes before my final check-in time
Realized when I saw the vape juice that they had
I grabbed the wrong bag out the back of the cab
[Sage Francis]
Fuck it, leave it all behind we’re a terminal away
[B. Dolan]
And right about then they announced our delay

[Interlude]
5 minutes
Nice
Yeah, man what’s this?
This is fun (finally)
The Admiral’s Lounge (this is fun, Casa Bonita)
The Admiral’s Lounge
Look what we found
We’re in the Admiral’s Lounge
Let’s see what this lounge is all about
It goes down in the Admiral’s Lounge

[Verse 4 Sage Francis]
Should we
A: Walk right on over to the freebies?
B: Ask for the code to the wee-fee?
C: Tell ‘em that we need our feet rubbed?
Well the answer is D: All of the above

I’m lyin’ vertical with thangs inserted in my veins
For optimal hydration now they’re servin’ us drinks
I had this murderous rage but it’s all meltin’ away
I could get used to this…yeah
We’re in the Admiral’s Lounge
Admiral’s Lounge
Admiral’s Lounge

[B. Dolan]
Yo, Sage, we gotta turn the page
We gotta go, son, we’re late again
[Sage Francis]
Oh, shit! Sprint!

[Chorus]
Run run
Shin splints
Run run
Shin splints
Ahh

[Verse 5 Sage Francis]
Jumpin’ out my seat like don’t fail me now feet
Workin’ thumb to my knuckles down on me now
[B. Dolan]
Fuck a down beat
[Sage Francis]
There we go, there we there we go
Past the Dolmaybe [?]
Now we in the inconsiderate [?] mode baby
[B. Dolan]
Pass the old lady on the left hand side
Cause getting to these shows is a matter of pride
I jump the cat carrier, run the track faster than
Ones who sat passive, but clung to fat baggage I shove
And act savage, now you learnin’ the pace
Who the hell ever heard of a terminal change?
Took a shuttle to a subway through a tunnel for a shuttle
Cramped up, cut me! the champ is getting bloody!

[Sage Francis]
And we pushin’ all the dummies who’re standing in the left lane
Of the sidewalk I’m distraught with the chest pain
Dealin’ with the leg pains
Devoted to the endgame of leavin’ on this motherfuckin’ jet plane
[B. Dolan]
Get to gate! Tell ‘em to wait!

Shin splints
Shin splints
Shin splints
Ahhhhhh
Shin splints
Shin splints
Shin splints
Shin splints
Shin splints
Fuck!

[B. Dolan]
They sayin the flight is tomorrow
[Sage Francis]
Of course
[B. Dolan]
Jesus
[Sage Francis]
Yeah