Surprising the world
With diamonds and pearls
But a song about a girl
Ain't really about a girl
Got a two-way vanity mirror
I'm an Amity villain
With a Peeping Tom complex

You're just a soul collector
You keep putting 'em in a trash bag
You push 'em in a shopping cart
Go and act sad
When there's none left, to collect
So you go on, and you make more
But wait...what'd you lose them to the state for?

The next time you see me
It'll be through plexiglass
There ain't no bail-outs in this jail house
Ain't no more petty cash
Easy come, easy go
A penny saved, a penny earned
And I've learned life is cliché
One of these days you get what you deserve

Surprising the world!
With diamonds and pearls
But a song about a girl
Ain't really about a girl
Got a 2-way vanity mirror
Firing a blind eye, I turn
From an 800-pound gorilla

In the midst of misdirected anger
False blood, it can run thinner than icy water
Watch the fang-banger
Flirt with the Death-star
I cried by your bedside
Decided right then and there to pretend you were alive
Maybe
Baby lie to me
Invade my privacy
Have the decency to say "bye", after taking the pride
Domestic piracy
You ran out of fam to plunder
And launch pads to crash
So when you're done playing dumb, empty the trash
We're looking for our lives back
We wish we could have saved yours
There's nothing we can buy back
'Cause everything was paid off
I found you in a pawn shop
You were stuck behind a glass case
I watched as the cost dropped
Puppy dog, sad face
Put a down payment on my meal plan
Just to see your shit-eating grin
Save the frown for when you need to shed your skin
Sell empty shells of yourself
The layers are coming off
Economic fail
Professional victim on sale, cutting costs

Charity case, don't ask me to donate
You axe-murdered your soul mate
My back's hurting from an tax burden
Pull your own weight
A punching bag for hire
Every minute there's a sucker bet
So what's the over and under you'll rise up from the debt?
With the complexion of a ghost
The resurrection was a hoax
But 2000 years later, it's like
Nobody knows
When you think you're slick enough
To turn a trick and spin the story
Just 'cause Jesus is your fair-weather pimp
And you caught me
Praying with my fingers crossed
So I shuffled up the deck
Is this the card that you picked?
Well if not, how about this?
Missionary ain’t a job, it’s a position
So assume it
The victimless crime watch-dog has a owner
That’s abusive
Now isn’t that ironic?
With one hand in my pocket
And the other choking out your street corner prophet
Uncrossed my fingers and said look at me when I’m talking dear
I ain’t mad at you
And that’s the only miracle here
I ain’t mad at you

I’m surprising the world
With diamonds and pearls
But a song about a girl
Ain't really about a girl