[Verse 1: Tom DeLonge]
Hey mom, there's something in the backroom
Hope it's not the creatures from above
You used to read me stories as if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb

[Verse 2: Tom DeLonge]
What if people knew that these were real?
I'll leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say what you hear is all hearsay
Wish someone would tell me what was right

[Chorus: Tom DeLonge]
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

[Verse 3: Tom DeLonge]
I am still a skeptic, yes, you know me
Been best friends and will be 'til we die
I got an injection of love from the erection
My best friend thinks I'm just humping guys, alright
[Chorus: Tom DeLonge]
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

[Bridge: Tom DeLonge]
Dark and scary, ordinary
Explanation, information
Nice to know ya, paranoia
Where's my mother? Bio-father?

[Chorus: Tom DeLonge]
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
Twelve majestic lies

[Outro: Mark Hoppus]
Tom has sex with guys

[Speech]
Tom: Hey, Mark. Who here thinks that I look very similar to Tom Cruise? Thank you, I think so too
Mark: Yeah, like, like Tom Cruise in that movie Born on the Fourth of July? That one? Where he's handicapped and retarded and stupid and nobody likes him and he just shits all over himself because he's a fucking asshole. Hey!
Tom: That was mean
Mark: That's right
Tom: Never attack somebody that shits on himself. You guys think it's weird to shit your pants when you're sleeping? Not that I do it, but I did it last night and I haven't taken a shower since and I'm wondering if that's what smells
Mark: Ha, ha. Ooh, poopie, poopie-ca-ca
Mark: Hey, I wrote this next song, wanna hear it?
Tom: You don't have a choice
Mark: It goes like this