[Intro]
"Oi fucks, let's eat 'ere, it looks nice"

[Verse]
Get me the manager!
Get, get, get
Get me the manager!

"Oh dear
Oh, what seems to be the problem, sir?"

First of all I was greeted with a grimace
Service with a sneer, he don't want to be here
Second of all I was seated by the window
And the draft was a serious inconvenience
There was lipstick on my glass and it wasn't mine
We put our order in, I can't believe the time
This is a shambles, your cook is a heathen
Your carpet is ugly and your veg ain't in season

[Bridge]
My impatience spread like gravy on a tablecloth
And, and your head looks like it was carved out of a nut
Rory C, tell 'em
I was waiting in line for ten whole minutes
This is unacceptable, you're pushing me to my limits!
"Please don't raise your voice in here, sir
This is a respected establishment
I'm sure we can sort this out quietly, no?"
Oh really? Well, well, that's a great vase you got there
It'll be a real shame if something happened to it
Whoopsie

[Drop]
Slipshod, kick it!
Slip!
Slipshod, kick it!

Cunt

[Outro]
Slipshod, kick it!

Oh, lordy, lordy