I'm a Ravenclaw, I like to read books
When I cast spells, they're off the freaking hook

I'm a Gryffindor, I'll fly with my friends
We'll never back down and fight to the end

I'm a Slytherin, I am very rich
I'll go on a date with whoever gets the snitch

I'm a Hufflepuff, just hanging relax
Got our drinks and friends, no feuds we content

[Slytherin]
Ew, who brought a Hufflepuff?

[Hufflepuff]
Hey, I'm just trying to have a good time over here
Have a good time

[Everyone]
A good time

I'm a Ravenclaw got wit beyond measure
I can catch a snitch like it's caught up in a tether

I'm a Slytherin, the house of the snake
Come get in my way, and get tossed in the lake
I'm a Gryffindor and we won the sky
Yeah, we always win with our rally cry

I'm a Slytherin, the top of my class
If you disagree, I'll kick your muggle ass

Uh, Alan, do you even know what Harry Potter is?

[Alan]
Well, I haven't read the books, but I've seen all the movies!

[Everyone]
Let's beat him up!
Let's beat him up

I'm a Slytherin, a big fan of Snape
If it's on my album, we have to say Snape

I'm a Hufflepuff, we're true to the end
United we stand, so I'll stand with my friends

I'm a Gryffindor, as brave as they come
And my name, Saxhorn?, will get the job done

I'm a Ravenclaw, my brain is superfast
Like Sheldon Cooper, but not a total ass
So who's this Sheldon Cooper guy anyway, Aaron?

[Aaron]
He's from the show The Big Bang Theory
You're out of the band
He's so smart
I don't want to go