A hundred million years ago
Before the Earth was manned
The Internet hadn’t surfaced yet
And dinosaurs ruled the land

Then came a day of reckoning!
A meteor arrived
And smashed the planet half to heck
Till nothing much survived

But one lonely Dino survived through it all
The last little t-Rex on Earth
He raced through the wasteland on screens big and small
To offer our offline new worth!

If your network ain’t working, or the web’s down-
If you find that your router’s outta gas-
When your 3G is taking you to hurt town
And your dial-up is being straight up #&$%…

Call the Dino in the Desert!
Running, jumping to and fro!
Hurry, little Dino in the Desert!
You still have so far to go…
Hop along back to your home!
He don’t use no skates or scooters
He won’t ride inside of cars
To a web site that won’t open
Or a phone with zero bars

He’s fought with throttled broadband
And unresponsive pages!
He’s been running on computers
Since the prehistoric ages!

Every crash takes him back to how it started…
To a world where no Ethernet was linked…
If the Internet had warned ‘em that the meteor was comin’
Then his family woulda never went extinct…

Now he’s the Dino in the Desert!
It’s the only life he knows…
One lonely little Dino in the Desert
Won’t rest until your tabs all close-
Keep on hopping ‘till you’re home!

When connections get unstable
And online goes off the table

You can bet your bottom dollar
He’ll come running when you holler!
Say there’s photos, but your modem
Isn’t letting you download ‘em

Or your emails aren’t inbound
You’ll find the Dino comes round!

If your hotspot’s being spotty
While you’re surfing on the potty

Or your speed tests tend to suffer
Well, he’s one tough motherbuffer!

When your ISP’s not P-ing
He’s the being you’ll be seeing…

If your wifi signal’s dropping
You can bet he’ll come a-hopping!

If your web’s disconnected, he’s your hero!
If your data rate ain’t great, then give a shout!
He’ll be there when games are lagging
When connection speeds are sagging
Or your cyberspace is simply crapping out

That’s our Dino in the Desert!
Nowhere is too far to roam…
Good ol’ faithful Dino in the Desert
Long as you keep using Chrome
You’ll be never far from home!