[Verse]
Welcome to Vault 68 -
A place that could use a woman's touch!
One lady plus a thousand men to play with
But it seems I may have played with them too much!

Please save me from Vault 43 -
A panther’s been put here by mistake!
It's wild and it's vicious, and thinks I smell delicious
Good thing Vault-Tec’s unlikely to break!

[Chorus]
So seal the door
And stay inside!
'Til hope's no more
And all your dreams have died

Yes, life in Vaults is quite a curse
But Vault-Tec tells us all
The fallout's surely worse!

[Verse]
Greetings, my Vault Dweller friends
I'm King and commander of this Vault
You may say I'm just a lonely psycho
But if I kill you, it's all the puppet's fault!
I’m Gary, from Vault 108
That’s Gary, also Gary, they're my clones
There used to be non-Garys
But things got a little hairy
Now I’m stuck here with these Garys, all alone

[Chorus]
So seal the door
And lock it tight
There's ghouls galore
And ghastly things that bite!

We're safe from all
Nuclear assault
So just surrender all your aspirations
And embrace exasperation
With your newfound life...
Inside... a...
Vault!

(And the fallout's surely worse!)