[Intro] (Mario = Mario | Luigi = |Luigi| | Both = /Both\)

Hey Paisano!
Wow, you got some dark bags under your eyes

|It's like looking into a horrible ugly mirror|

/*Laughs*\

You know what'll help you get a good nights sleep?
A SUPER deal from the Super Mario Brothers!

|Won't even cost you a fourtune!|
|Well, maybe part of one|

[Verse 1]
If a turtle takes your girlfriend, then just give us a call!
|We do rescues for a very modest fee|

We can handle any Koopa Troopa trouble at all
|With a limited service guaranteed|

If you need to catch a bunny
|Better take out your money|
/Cause we got a bargain here today!\
Baking Cookies
|Demolition|
We'll take any old commision
|For a pittance of our ordinary pay|

[Chorus]
/We're the Mario Brothers!\
/Don't accept any others!\

Because saving your princess
|Is part of our buisness!|
/So call up the Mario Bros!\

[Interlude]
I think it went rather well
|Next House?|
You do the talkin'

[Verse 2]
|Say you need a golden beetle for your new beetle box|
Or your ape can't be kept inside it's cage

|Or perhaps you lost your power star in Dire DIre Docks|
We can find it for a small, but honest wage

Star Road Broken?
|Home is haunted?|
/We're entirely undaunted\
There's no problem too big
|Or price too low!|

We can dance!
|He can paint!|
I'm a pilot, but he ain't...
/We're olympic-level, go-kart-golfing pros\

[Chorus]
/We're the Mario Brothers!\
/We're your number one druthers!\

|We play tennis and soccer|
I'm also a doctor
/Make way for the Mario Bros!\

[Verse 3]
|If you've got graffiti to erase...|
Or you need our help in outer space!

|We can ref a fight or check your piping|
Travel time or teach you typing
/Blast off Bowser's face!\

[Ending]
/We're the Mario Brothers\
/We're descreet undercover\
Need a rabbid ejection?
|Or hotel inspection?|
We'll plan you a party, yo!
|K.O. Lucario!|
/Ask for the Mario Bros!\

[Outro]

(Wario)
Uh...I uh...I think I have a toilet clogged upstairs
Heh heh heh

(Mario)
It ain't much, but we'll do it
It'll be fifty bucks

(Wario)
Ho Ho, uh...actually I think I'm just gonna buy some Drano instead
Have a rotten day!

(Scapelli)
How ya doin?
I hope I'm not interupting anything!

(Beard)
OOH!

(Scapelli)
Wow! What a striking beard you have there my friend!
I uh...have some hair product here I could sell you

(Mario)
Scapelli!