Dodger: Cheer up Enis, no need to feel so sad
So chin up, Enis
It's really not so bad, and
Just between us, there's still a million ways
To put that grin back on your face
Enis: Like what, exactly?

Dodger: Imagine the floor is hot lava

And not just a hotbed of fleas
Pretend that this bloodstain's a painting!
And that we're heisting a fine masterpiece!
Make believe that these creepy inscriptions

Show a passageway built in the wall!
It's not easy to see

But kid, take it from me
That this place isn't so awful at all!

Enis: You're right, I feel way better!

Mark: There's a secret passage in the kitchen

Enis: This isn't a mold ridden sofa!
Dodger: Oh yeah?
Enis: It's a pony named Buckaroo Jones
Dodger: Ok...
Ennis: And here's a Shakespearean actor
Who looks like a pile of bones

This isn't a chamber for torture
It's a spot to drink tea with our dolls
Dodger: Ugh. Maybe we should drink coffee instead

Enis: Pretend this thing's a grenade
Dodger: That was actually a grenade
Enis: But hey this isn't a waffle at all
Dodger: It's not 'Waffle' its 'awful'
Ennis: Taste's fine to me

Dodger: This place may be smelly and scary
And it may be the last place we see
Enis and Dodger: But I know that for sure, there is one
Certain cure
To endure it all take it from me

Mark: Grah, all right, look

We are done with make believe!

There's no floor made of Lava

There's no Buckaroo Jones
And there's no tea parties either
Enis: The hand grenade was real! Uh. Sorry
Mark: You guys want real?
Here's what real about this place
This place really reeks like an outhouse

And really has mildew to spare
I'm really creeped out by this portrait
And I really wouldn't sit in that chair

The food in the fridge is expired
Something's dripping halfway down the hall!
Enis: Let's pretend it's a pool
Dodger: Oh yeah! That would be cool
Enis and Dodger: This really isn't so awful at all!
A puppet show made out of curtains! (Mark: This is the worst
Thing I've seen)
A three-player roleplaying game (Mark: What does this
Attribute mean?)
Extreme indoor racing
Fine wine and cheese tasting
Mark: I still think its pointless and lame
Dodger: Imagine we're all in a sword fight
Ennis: With garbage instead of real swords
Mark: I'd like to pretend we're a rockband
But it's clear we don't know any chords
Enis: Pretend that, that shadow's a giant
Not a guy who's been there all along
Mark: What?
Enis: Weren't it all in our heads, we would probably be dead
But this place isn't so awful at all
It isn't so awful at all