[Instrumental Intro]

[Verse 1: "Shaquille O'Neal"]
I'm Shaquille O'Neal and my game is trash
Won some combos, now I'm here to button mash
My homie Kaori is an alien cat
That's kinda messed up! Yo, wassup with that? *meow*
My boy here Beast always got my back
With his butt on your face and mighty claw attack
The graphics are shoddy and the controls are poop
I should probably stick to playing games with hoops

[Chorus 1: "Shaq" and (Backup singers)]
(Shaq Fu!) Gonna beat you at it
(Shaq Fu!) [?]
(Shaq Fu!) Ladies preach about it
(Shaq Fu!) Lemme teach ya 'bout it

[Verse 2: "Shaquille O'Neal"]
Ayo! Mephis is on the scene
Either my screen is trippin' or this homeboy is green
Hey Voodoo, how ya doin'? Call me at least
Ugh! This honey just turned into a beast!
[?] Imma take this mean baddie
And turn Mr. Meat into hamburger patties *moo*
No one told me the gameplay and AI were busted
Slap my name on this [?], as in Shaq Fu [?]
[Chorus 2: "Shaq" and (Backup singers)]
(Shaq Fu!) I got big regrets
(Shaq Fu!) Like I lost a bet
(Shaq Fu!) Who the *record scratch* is Sett?
(Shaq Fu!) Is this over yet?

[Verse 3: "Shaquille O'Neal"]
Colonel's got moves that are worse than his chicken
I can spit lotta rhymes that are still finger-lickin'
Don't mess with Nezu, he keepin' it real!
He'll eat you for breakfast in an Unhappy Meal!
This whole [?] loose
Sett, get back to Set and say hi to Tom Cruise! (Ooh!)
The coding's atrocious and the beats are lame
Tell me, why the Shaq did we make this game?

[Chorus 3: "Shaq" and (Backup singers)]
(Shaq Fu!) What a bad decision!
(Shaq Fu!) Nothin' but a bad [?]
(Shaq Fu!) Like a bowel emission
(Shaq Fu!) [?]

[Outro: "Shaquille O'Neal"]
Yo, this better not show up on that Shovelwarewolf show! I'm 'onna be pissed!