Good day and welcome to the Cult of the Lamb!
We’ve got a full field of fruits and berries
Right beside our cemeteries!
We won’t sent pamphlets out of pelt you with spam-
-I promise! You’ll be the GOAT to serve the lamb!

We’ll toil all day and eat a feast at night
Before we dance in the n*** around the fire light!
Then you might become my new spouse!
Come try out our outhouse!
Help us smite our acolytes in sacrificial rite!

I don’t really know…
Sounds a bit intense…
Eat some minced up meat till it makes sense!

Come join our family in the Cult of the Lamb!
You’ll love our dice games and daily sermons
Between bowls of butchered vermin!
Sure, sheep’ll call our cult a fraud and a scam-
-Whatever! It’s not so baaaaad to serve the lamb!

I can help with your darkest desires…
All your wildest dreams can come true!
Indoctrination’s the hip new sensation
And pure adulation’s all I need from you!
Have a bite and become enlightened!
Take my hand and prepare to be blessed!
Your robe is ready! Let’s break out confetti!
Now all you gotta say is-

“No!”

Walking away from the faith’s no solution!
Bow and believe or embrace execution!
Doubters are sinners, the source of dissension!
Where heretics burn, others earn their ascension!

…there, there. I can see you’re repentant
And I happen to need a cleaning station attendant…
My flock is my herd, and you’ve heard my stern warning
So there’s no need to lock you in the stocks until morning!

You’ll fit right in within the Cult of the Lamb!
We offer low rates on resurrection
Plus a growing bone collection!

And if our fighting pit just isn’t your jam
No worries! Try out a full confession
Half off your soul possession!
Welcome to the Cult of the Lamb!