Random Encounters
RED: A Team Fortress 2 Song
[Chorus 1: Soldier, Demoman and Both]
Well, I can build booms bigger
I can bomb BLU better
I'm a butt-ton RED'r than you!
Well, I'm a true bar-setter
Blastin' BLU dudes deader
I've been bred for RED since age two!
Sure you're a green go-getter
I'm a mean Mann-Shredder!
There's no RED'r meat in our crew!
Nobody's so big a threat or
Always one step ahead-er!
That's the breaks: I'm RED'r than you!
[Verse 1: Soldier and Demoman]
Listen, lad, I like you
So I won't bloody fight you
But I'm king of things that go BOOM!
Sure you're a man in uniform
It hasn't helped how you perform
Go blow your army arse right back inside the respawn room!
When I was pushing payloads, you were crappin' in your kilt
You couldn't rocket jump across the seas of blood I've spilt!
Yer bum is out the window, ya old peely-wally fart
You're out there hawkin' rockets! I make bloody works of art!
[Pre-Chorus: Soldier and Demoman]
Let's cut the chat
One bevvy more- I'll drink to that!
[Chorus 2: Both]
Oh, I can build booms bigger
I can bomb BLU better
I'm a butt-ton RED'r than you!
And I'm a true bar-setter
Blastin' BLU dudes deader
I've been bred for RED since age two!
Sure you're a green go-getter
I'm a mean Mann-Shredder
There's no RED'r meat in our crew!
Nobody's so big a threat or
Always one step ahead-er
That's the breaks: I'm RED'r than you!
[Interlude 1: Soldier, Demoman and Medic]
MEDIC!
We need your help!
Tell this dafty I'm twice as RED as he is!
Let me see...
Mmmmmhm... Hmmm?
My diagnosis is that you are both morons! Hah!
[Verse 2: Soldier, Demoman and Heavy]
Zip your lip, ya maggot!
In war, you wouldn't hack it
You'd be blown to bits by high noon (Yeah, right!)
You try hard not to show it
But we both know that you'd blow it
Like the way I blow heads off BLU buffoons (*gasp*)
Shut yer puss, ya testy tadger! Aye, yer off yer hide!
I'd stuff a bomb right up yer arse and blow ya open wide!
Banking bombs 'round corners ain't no hero's tale to tell
I bet this here Cow Mangler'd mangle cowards like you as well!
(BE NICE!)
[Bridge: Soldier and Demoman]
Uh... I love the color of your eyes- I mean, I love your eye
There's not a sweeter scream than yours each time you up and die
I like your stupid accent and the way it makes you spit!
And I yer bonny bonnet on the way it doesn't fit!
I'd love to watch you blown apart and mark my words: I will!
I'd off your every enemy so you could be my kill!
[Chorus 3: Both]
Oh, I can build booms bigger
I can bomb BLU better
I'm a butt-ton RED'r than you!
And I'm a true bar-setter
Blastin' BLU dudes deader
I've been bred for RED since age two!
Sure you're a green go-getter
I'm a mean Mann-Shredder
There's no RED'r meat in our crew!
Nobody's so big a threat or
Always one step ahead-er
That's the breaks: I'm RED'r than
I'm a better man
So much RED'r than you!