Hello?
Hello, Mama, this is Osama
I'm in a geisha house in Yokohama
I swear I don't know nothing 'bout no tennis shoe bomb
I'm a nervous wreak, Dubya's breathin' down my neck
Goodness me, mercy sakes
Listen, son, what on Earth are you thinking?
I don't know
Tell me something, have you been drinking?
No! I ain't been drinking
This ain't no way to behave
You're gonna send me to my grave!
Hold it, Mama! You know I can't talk long at all
Dubya just might trace this call
Wait a minute, uh-oh!
We will not tire, we will not fail
However long it takes you know we will prevail
Mercy sakes
Mama, I don't wanna go to Guantanamo
So Mama, send me some dough
Another hundred million or so
I think it's worse than dead broke down in Guantanamo
Hello?

Hello, Mama, this is "Usama"
I'm in a mud hut in the middle of Uganda
Now here's the thing, I changed my name to "Usama"
Yeah, 'cause Dubya's nipping at my heels
Now I know how Salman Rushdie feels
Goodness me, mercy sakes
Listen, son, I'm not trying to upset you
I know
But honey, if they do catch you
Oh, for goodness sakes, bite your tongue!
You know it's every mother's prayer
You have on clean underwear
Hold it, Mama! Dubya just won't leave me alone
I think he might have tapped this phone
Wait a minute, uh-oh!
We will not tire, we will not fail
Do not pass go, just go directly to jail
Goodness me!
Mama, I don't wanna go to Guantanamo
So Mama, send me some dough
Another hundred million or so
I think it's worse than dead broke down in Guantanamo