Do do-de-do do do do-de-do
Do do-de-do do

Yeah

The other morning I was crawlin' home
Made it about halfway across the lawn
Just paused beneath the begonias there to rest my hands and knees

Mindin' my own business laying there in the snow
When my wife walks out says she'd like to know
What I thought I was doin' in the shrubbery
At a quarter past three

I said, "Honey, I'd love to tell you
But I'm sworn to secrecy! Yeah!
It's got something to do with night maneuvers
And national security! Heh heh!"

Well, then I watched her swell up like a toad
And put both hands on her hips
Then squinched up those little beady eyes
And pooched out that bottom lip

And I knew that I was
Back in the doghouse again!
Sleepin' with my flea-covered friend
Oh, move it over Rover!
Looks like I'm movin' in!
Back in the doghouse again!

Do do-de-do do do do-de-do
Do do-de-do do

So I told that woman
"You know what's wrong with you?
You never think of the good things I do!
Like how I leave my dirty clothes all spread out on the floor there so easy to see?
Yeah, you know how you worry about gettin' fat?
Ain't I always there to help you out with that?
Well, how many times have you heard me say
'Better slow down Porky, looks like you're puttin' on a few pounds to me! Heh'
Yeah, and the night you changed that flat tire, didn't I stand there and hold the light?
And you want to make a big fuss about me comin' in a little late at night? Huh!"

Well, I must've said somethin' wrong
'Cause she put both hands on her hips
And then she rolled her eyes, and stamped her foot
And pooched out that bottom lip

And heaven only knows why, but I was
Back in the doghouse again!
Yeah, I spent more time in there than Rin Tin Tin!
Yeah, I keep on tryin' to please her
But then I do somethin' dumb and then
It's back in the doghouse again!

Move over there boy and let me in there
Whew! Boy, have you got Alpo breath tonight!
Gotta get you some of them chlorophyll dog biscuits!
Chase cars? Naw, I don't wanna chase cars again tonight
Remember what happened last time? We caught one!
Yeah, almost killed me! Ran over me twice!
Pass me that bone there, would'ya?