As she kissed me goodbye she kicked my birddog
Rolled a stick of dynamite under my pickup
Released the breaks on my dear old mother's wheel chair
Pushed it down the hill into the path of a speeding semi-truck

Then she shot the propane tank with my deer rifle
Turned our love nest into one big pile o' wood
I hate to be a pessimist but I sense something in her kiss
And I'm afraid this time she might be gone for good

As she backed out of the drive she hit my Harley
Drug it underneath her car down to the street
Took a baseball bat to my "See Rock City" mailbox
Hollered something at me that I can't repeat

Then she whistled for our neighbor and she come a' runnin'
And they drove off laughin' through our neighborhood
I know they say that love is blind but I think she's givin' me a sign
And I believe this time she might be gone for good
Yes, I'm afraid this time she might be gone for good

[Spoken]
No, wait! I was wrong, she's coming back
Hey baby!
Huh? What's this? A new bowling ball? With a sparkler in it?
Hey wait! Where ya goin'?
Well, well don't run off again! Hey, Thelma!
You and Louise come back here, ya hear! Wait a minute
This ain't no bowlin' ball, why, it's a
This time, she might be gone for good, timber!