Ray Stevens
Knock Him Out John
Way down south in Mississippi just outside of Yazoo City
Jerry Clower and all his friends would go out and hunt raccoon
They'd take along a man named John, one tree climbin' son of a gun
John would shinny up a tree and a coon would be comin' down soon
Now John was a sportin' man who said "give every coon a chance if you can
Don't y'all go shootin' no coon now", he'd warn 'em in advance
"I'll knock him down to the ground, let him fight it out with that pack of hounds
It'll be slim but at least he'll have a chance"
(I can still hear ol' Jerry call, haw)
Knock him out John, knock him out John
Knock that coon right out of that sweetgum tree
Knock him out John, knock him out John
Knock him down to Marcel, Clovis, the dogs and me
One night they heard ol' Jerry's dog "Brumy" with a bark from down in his tummy
Jerry answered him and said "Haw, Brumy talk to me!"
Then all the other dogs joined in and pretty soon they were at trail's end
And it looked like the dogs had run a coon up a big ol' tree
The dogs had a big'un and wanted 'em some and the base of that tree was pandemonium
And before we knew it, John had shinnied right up that tree
He disappeared up among the leaves and then we heard a blood-curdlin' scream
"Lord, have mercy, get this thing off me"
Jerry yelled, haw!
Knock him out John, knock him out John
Knock that coon right out of that sweetgum tree
Knock him out John, knock him out John
Knock him down to Marcel, Clovis, the dogs and me
Then John yelled "Hush, you crazy fools, this thang ain't no danged raccoon
It's a lynx, a big ol' bobtailed cat!"
He said "shoot this thang for heaven's sake, I've had about all that I can take"
We said "shouldn't we give him a chance, John?", and John said "Shoot this cat!"
Well, John was screamin' and the dogs were bayin'
The limbs were shakin' and the tree was swayin'
And Jerry said "we can't get off a clean shot, John, y'all are hidden by the leaves"
Then right in the midst of all the ruckus we heard John say "Just shoot up in here among us
'Cause one of us is got to have some relief!"
Haw, knock him out, John
Then somethin' fell out of the tree with a big ol' thud right at our feet
And the dogs were on it like it was red meat
All of a sudden, we saw it was John, and he wasn't havin' a lick of fun
And in the middle of the mayhem, that cat made his retreat
John still goes huntin' every now and then, but things aren't like they were back when
'Cause now he packs a pistol, a chainsaw and a bowie knife
But I can still hear ol' Jerry yell and tell us all his famous tale of
"Knock him out John", the funniest story I ever heard in my life