I drove my tractor through your haystack last night
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Now somethin's tellin' me, that you'm avoidin' me
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Come on now darlin' you got somethin' I need

Cos I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony
Oh I got 20 acres, and you got 43
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

She made I laugh, haha

I'll stick by you I'll give you all that ya need
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
We'll have twins and triplets I'm a man built for speed
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
And yu know I'll love ya darlin' so give me your hand
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
But the thing I want the most is all the acres o' land

Cos I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give u the key
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony
I got 20 acres, and you got 43
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Pphhwooaaarrr she's a lovel bit of stuff an'all

For seven long years I've been alone in this place
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Eat sleep in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Now if I cleaned it up, would ya change our mind?
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
I'll give up drinkin' scrumpy and that lager and lime

Cos I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Come on now let's get together in perfect harmony
Oh I got 20 acres, and you got 43
Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key

Who loves ya baby, HA

Weren't we grand couple at that last Wurzel dance?
I wore brand new gaters and me corduroy pants
In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smellin' grand
We had our photos tooken us holding hands

Now I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Now that we'm both past our 50's I think that you and me
Should stop this gallivanting, and will you marry me?
Cos I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key
Aarrr, you're a fine lookin woman and I can't wait to get me hands on yer land haha