[Round 1: Tsu Surf]
Now why in the fuck would I come all the way to Detroit to tell fat jokes, when I can talk about shit that's not funny?
Like, it's gonna look like a cow got smacked by a train
If you runnin' that block from me
I just start to go noodles when the cause is the beef
You soft, I can see the chicken all in your teeth
Moms cryin', I see Olive Garden all in the street
'Cause if it ain't about that green light salad
You'll get the biscuit with the shells, boy, this all you can eat
They say that boy Tsu Surf cold
But all he talkin' about is hoopin'
That's 'cause I usually catch fire when that crowd start rootin'
I'll pull that Coach K and let that chopper start Duke'in'
And leave so many holes out there
They wouldn't know whether to lock me up for pimpin' or shootin'
Smack gonna have to call the Navy or the SWAT
When I come through at least about 80 gettin' dropped
Take his baby up the cliff, it look crazy from the top
I bet you I ain't gotta be Beyoncé to drop a baby from the rock
Everyday in my hood I bang, I'm a nice worker
I'll Kenneth Cole, three piece, bow tie, nice shirt ya
Choir in the pulpit, Momma in the front row, white hearse ya
With a clip about this long, and it flip both ways like vice versa
I know I get a little complicated when I spit for you n***as
But pay attention, this is as slow as I'ma get for you n***as
What you about, 300 pounds solid? Boy, I bet you weak
Oh, you feel disrespected? Well, I suggest you be
I'll throw his ass in the trunk just to let you see
That you ain't gotta know your alphabet to find T in a SUV
I ain't even gonna front, I watched you vs Hollow seven times
And the first bag wasn't even the worst bag
It resembled that shirt tag: an L seven times
I mean you came out swingin', but you need to do more of it
Plus the filler in your schemes lack substance
Senior prom: your lines too long to the punches
Let me give you some advice
Drink some bleach, slit your wrists and eat an AIDS needle
Then hopefully you'll see life on a newer side
And get it through that fat fuckin' skull
That you got a better chance killin' yourself than pushin' Tsu aside
I see that n***a that attempted to murder yo' ass
Wasn't tryin' to grill nothin'
Well, try look into the eyes of a n***a that's tryin' to kill somethin'
We make n***as disappear like that Triangle out in Bermuda
They can't find his body, but they know that I'm the shooter
I say cut my sentence in half and I'll spread a little rumor – deal?
Well, you can look in Oklahoma if you wanna find him sooner
You ain't hawkin' n***as down, hoppin' out to let that heater spray
Bagel thighs! And from the looks of things
Your first piece of pussy was DNA
If that was me that woulda caught you in that car down in all black
Quarter sized holes in the door, shattered glass, flats
Potato the 44 for the sound and let it clap
Them mad rounds left ketchup and hash browns on his lap
Let me tell you how I know we be movin' on a separate thought
'Cause when its beef y'all chicken be tellin' the pork
I told the prosecutor: "Let me get a veggie burger and a rice cake."
I told the homies I want his mother and his father
They brought me back two heads in a box, like a Skype date
Tsu Surf loses to Big Tasha… I think not
And since you heavy you gon' get the same box D got
We can make it whatever you wanna make it
Let's start a riot, n***a
I'll wait 'til the moment of silence at your grandmother's wake
Then scream "Quiet, n***a!" – Jersey
[Round 1: Big T]
Ayo, Surf…
How come none of them n***as in them blogs come with you?
You showed up, showed heart
But we now about to see if we got some with you
N***a, it'd been smart 'cause you brought guns with you
But we ain't have to see your arsenal
To know you ain't had that shotgun with you
Ain't this Tsu? "I'ma put T in the ground like a golf course"
First off, that hand on your hip shit uncalled for
"Well, I'ma put T in a bag like Lipton"
Aight, let me help this n***a out, right? 'Cause this n***a trippin'
See, if I was you I'd say, if he talk anymore shit then
I'ma put T in a bag – I bet he won't give me any lip then
Which reminds me, he battled X Factor
He said he'll "have the K silent like knee"
N***a, I battled Hitman I said he'll be "like H in the middle of nowhere" – this n***a wanna be just like me
But I'ma show you how I do it, let's say I take a word like 'unit'
And put you in it, now it's just you and I, T
Which reminds me, some other shit you do, Surf
It's like when I really start to view Surf
It's like none of this shit new, Surf
Its a whole bunch of Bluhhdduh dhut dhut – that ain't you, Surf
Lock pick his door – that's mine too, Surf
Remember, you're goin' against Mr. Chulockaboo, Surf
You know how much my Chulockaboo's worth?
Oooh, I should sue Surf
Truth hurt, and you know I think nothing's scary?
'Cause you let Bill Collector say "fuck Tookie!"
And he came back to Newark and wasn't worried
N***a, I'm from Chicago, I ain't GD
But if a n***a woulda said "fuck Larry!"
Then the next day you mighta found a motherfucker buried
N***a, how you gonna let a n***a be disrespectful to Tookie?
You steppin' against a vet, you took disrespect from a rookie
Ars, Surf and Red – *sniff* – them n***as is pussy
These n***as from Jersey sure bitches: Jenny, Sammi and Snooki
Whoopie, I flew to Newark
What happened to all these Jersey wars?
Bright sands, Jersey floors, that shit look like Jersey Shore
But I heard before when I was hittin' your thick whores
She told me that your shit was like this short
She say mine's like… six floors
So it makes since why she rather ride mines rather than yours
'Cause your name's Surf, every time she rides she gets bored
They say I'm scared of Surf, I say Surf who?
They say Tsu Surf, I say Surf cool
What it do, Surf? 'Cause Surf get you for what you worth
Because Surf sue me verse Tsu
I will murk Tsu and rehearse Tsu, no rehearsal
I will hurt Tsu, but it hurts to know that I won't be the first to
First Tsu had two battles in a basement, nobody saw it
Ill: body bag – DNA: body bag – he was no longer wanted
Edged K shine, but X beat you
So your record like CD's with no features
Other than you, ain't no body on it
If you see a sign that say I won't shoot 'cause police here
Ignore it, people
If anybody that came with Surf and they still breathin'
Enjoy it, people, you would think I was smugglin' immigrants in across the border, people
The way I load up, sneak past security and dump the 4 in people
If we warrin' people, I'll run up blazin' cans
Pants in your lugs boots
You like the Southwest shuffle: I'ma make him dance
Lift my arm like I'm tryin' to to raise his hand
Blaze his gut, hit him 'til somethin' somethin' came up
Like he had a change of plans
I'm the man here
You won't make it where I'm from, I'm in demand here
You keep playin' here, you can stand here
But see if you layin' here
If I start a fire, I'll make you camp here
If you don't wanna get it with these hollows
Then you better learn like the movie Hollow Man and stand clear
Or I'll let the drama pop, llama pop 'til my arm is hot
His mom, his pops, everyone in the way of harm gets shot
And not finna charge or stop
'Til I clear everyone from the parking lot
And leave the scene here clean cut like a barber shop – Quiet!
[Round 2: Tsu Surf]
Here the fuck we go again
I like mozzarella sticks and nachos too
It's hot, swooohhh, but I'm hungry like ohh ahh ohh
Smack, this round ain't done yet, boy? Hwoooo
I'm so heavy, if I have a stroke I'll need a pair of medics… two
But why would I come to Detroit to tell fat jokes
When I could clap folks, largest to smallest
Or let the little homies handle the scramble
Discovery channel: 60 hyennas versus a walrus
I use the 8, those tools get baked
You'll lose some weight when I'm dumpin' slugs
See, the medics gonna gurney in Sherman Clump
But your mother gonna wheel out Buddy Love
I brought an apron in case it get ugly
I'm tryin' to cow beef fry somethin'
Yeah, I'ma cool n***a so I'ma be cool… but try somethin'
Whole hood screamin' and all, it was about 5 somethin'
They said Surf left T hangin' from a line
Like he was tryin' to dry somethin'
How I get here? If that bitch wasn't dead, I'd tell you ask your sister
I want mines, I dump 9's, and them pockets like a blizter
Only two things could happen if one of these hit ya
Eeither Surf's gonna leave like Mayweather
Or T's gonna leave like Victor
And when it come to your moms, I don't care how that date'll go
If she suckin', that 8'll blow
I pulled a chicken so it ain't trickin'
Just 'cause I pay for that fillet she owe
I could take y'all to English class without a GED
I aim at T with that AR, y'all know what he gon' G-E-T
You gonna see a SK tryin' to be tough off that E, T
No, listen, you gonna see a SK tryin' to be tough off that E, T
If you can spell you'll do well 'cause everything I tell real
And with that K I rip T up the middle
'Cause you need to L's to spell 'kill'
I battled DNA, X Factor, K Shine, Yung Ill
And you supposed to be the cause of my death, T?
Ha ha, you a mess, T, I know one thing:
You gettin' more than juice if these birds come out this nest, T
I was raised by real goons
So all that shit you talkin' is irrelevant
In the streets you gotta pay like you weigh
So you owe 344,000 and 7 cent
People pray, reverend gotta find a home for this guy
Like a lost call service he can roam in the sky
He gotta go he gotta go, no emotions shown for the guy
Actually I was at the dealership
Lookin' for a Charger like my phone finna die
And we was fuckin' with his wifey, but the bitch all brain-dead
She just wanna suck dick and listen to Weezy
We call the bitch "Wayne head"
You get pains in your chest when you blink
You sweat when you think
It's only the second round, and I bet you you stink
What female would wanna put her face between these knees?
That frictions could only give off a Ranch dressing smell
Or cream cheese… bagel thighs!
My Chicago bitch said he's from the southside of some place
I'm like, "Where's that?"
It don't even matter, just take me to where them Bears at
Y'all gonna see T walkin' with his head down and hear "SNAP!"
Left a jelly bean trail to a bear trap – Jersey
[Round 2: Big T]
Surf, let me ask you again, like what that bloggin' about?
He like what I said that Big Terrance shit
I was embarrassed he tried to dog me out
The n***a wasn't at the crib
So guess what, I went to the n***a momma house
Like I needed help with my homework
'Cause I'm tryna figure these problems out
I see Surf and Ars in front of the crib, I hopped out
Act like I was gonna dap 'em
Open my hand, smack him, now he knocked out
Grab Arsonal by the dreads
Shots goin' through his head 'til they popped out
Now the NBA ain't the only one with the lockout
Hop out, his man know I'm in front of his crib… hi, hater
Fuck him, I ain't gonna keep playin' with this pussy: vibrator
'Cause with this lightsaber
I'll lift him where he standin' in the air like a skyscraper
With that K wavin' in front of his crib like a polite neighbor
Why wankstas wanna do research in Chicago to see if Big T ass a clown? On some bitch shit
That's when I get mad and switch shit
Like *Chick* *click* – ask it now!
Barrel to his mouth, let the Magnum bloaw
For thinkin' it's that I'll let him speak to this gat
Now that's how you could "ask a round"
He always sayin' how he run into n***as cribs
But I got cameras everywhere so I was waitin'
I see a Micheal Myers jumper, mask off of Jason
Lock pick my door *errgghh* – *chick* – stick your face in!
Head shot, knocked the n***a brains to the basement
I put the basement in the attic, attic into the basement
Bullets ricochetin' off of cabinets, switchin' all the paintings
Changin' all of the stations, switchin' all of the vases
Terminator 1 role: knock the baby out the play pen
What I'm sayin' is, whatever you wanna do, pop
That's gonna get Ars scarred
J get brought in it, bring Shotgun and get Suge shot
I work with the tools and let the hammers go
Like I'm finna leave wood shop: I'll have more people watch this crowd Surf in the audience than Woodstock
Since you would not know what pain is
I'ma send him down the lane of it
That unstoppable train that Densel Washington movie played in
Push Surf up in the way of it
Ahh, the shit get meaner, I wish a hurricane big as Irene and Katrina hit Jersey and have Surf surf the waves of it
I could be a bastard, wait 'til somebody passes
Take they ashes, LeBron James the remains of it
But I'd rather dig up your whole family group
Whoever died, make bone marrow soup
And make Surf eat every scrape of it
Say fuck it, I'ma style on him
You see T you see a bottle or two, Cirôc or the Goose
A model or two poppin' they cooch
Slobbin' the crew, blew everything harmonic flute
Bloop come off of the roof, 2Pac up in Juice
Bring drama to Tsu, Osama Saddam to Tsu
Shot up at you, hit your Yamaka too, your Hanukkah suit
I brought my shit too, bahbahshitoo jahlawkadah
Keep tryin', you'll be in a D line: I'll Ndamukong Suh
When I gotta for you
I got Spanish cats that scream "¡Domo!" when they fire
N***a, I'll shoot at your clock 'til both y'all expire
Shotgun the shooter and the driver? Both you n***as liars
You just a fag carryin' Shotgun: you Omar in The Wire
So how he say he put on Jersey? Let me make this scheme
Joe Buddens and Redman don't fuck with you
And they make the cream
Low-key you hate on Ars, Suge and Red
You just don't make the scene
So how could a n***a put on Jersey that ain't make the team?

[Round 3: Tsu Surf]
I don't know anybody from Chicago
So you can't tell me about my "team"
And them pants is still the only place you can get Ranch dressing without wings
Ok, so now Surf ain't in the street
And Twitter is where you see him
That's 'cause big homies got little homies
That'll take that n***a off that timeline like a DM
Ok, so now Surf don't come through the block
And let it rock when he street sweep
That's 'cause big homies got little homies
That lay that MAC round and bring it back 'round like a re-tweet
Surf ain't bout that street shit, Surf wouldn't send nothin'
That's 'cause big homies got little homies
That walk around with pounds like they tryin' to trend somethin'
What you say, 100,000 tweets?
That's why bitches swallow me, n***a
In the moral of this, Aye Verb – follow me, n***a!
Now back to the story, wait wait wait wait wait…
Why not come to Chicago to tell fat jokes? I'm in another state
Plus you got your grandmother shoulders
Your step father complexion and your mother face
When you told DNA he was ugly and soft
Ha ha ha, you the man, scrap
But somebody tell this man that he ugly and fat
And it's still a damn fact about any chance that can clap
Chicago D's find T in the middle of SL like where the Rams at
I see haters still hatin', I see Hitman still talkin'
I see that n***a that try to sit you down for life, still walkin'
Where I'm from, that ain't how we handle our obstacles
Add up all the homies
Divide them into parts of the city, then subtract all possibles
Jail, I been there – ratchets, I clap those
Made whole families congregate in black clothes
But Smack passed you the chance to battle Hollow
And you dropped it, dude
If that was Surf vs Nigel, bullets get sprayed, Glocks get used
TEC's that sound like long horns: he get chopped and screwed
And if I gotta ride or somethin', all black disguise or somethin'
Timbos, cargos, mask with a 9 or somethin'
You gonna need God, hiding tips from Saddam or somethin'
Troy Davis: that boy gonna die for nothin'
You catchin' more than beats if these subs get to woffin', T
Whole packs of Sheriffs, blood hounds have to look for T
Look at me! Moral at the end of that book'll be
All I need is half this clip to push a T
Your whole team ass, I'ma let it ride though
Matt Forte: you the only n***a ballin' in Chicago
I can't say take me to your leader 'cause this is the boss
Scissor toss, bullets cross the middle, I pray he pick it off
I'm from a city of loud guns and soft words
Sawed-off's and Mossberg's
It's battle rap, but outside T get in that box if we cross words
My psychologist tried to tell me
I'm two quarters Mike Myers and half of Satan
'Cause I copped the .44 long with infrared and navigation
I'll flick a button and that gat'll bang and
It stop, he drop, then give him more like I'm elaboratin'
I hate everything you think you is, so let's get more on topic
I'll hit you so fuckin' hard
You won't feel a scratch when it's on a poppin'
Smack paid me racks to chalk his head when that 4 be poppin'
Long bang from long range: 8 ball corner pocket
Formulate this message
You a Ray Jay fan and a Aye Verb lover
The toughest n***a in the Midwest is still Aye Verb mother
I'll hit him in both legs and let him crawl to a slow stop
Then call 911 and chop the ambulance
Before they make it to Beaumont – Jersey

[Round 3: Big T]
My setups be like, if I see Surf in the club deep
I was sippin' my drink, he bumped me and kept fuckin' rollin'
I start to look around like Big T just let Surf come and hoe him
So I chilled and waited 'til you finna leave
Put the gun by his temple, squeeze
Now that's how the fuck you show him
Now he dyin' in the street, left his eyes by his feet
Now maybe next time you can watch where the fuck you goin'
That's how I be on him
But the shit that come outta dude mouth, he say shit like
"I'ma make a n***a yell dang when I hit him with that Luau"
Now what type of n***a you know get shot and says dang?
He must got a Glock when it pop it's a flag that says bang
Big Terrance, ain't it a motherfuckin' shame?
'Cause it seems like every time Surf about to get behind bars
He like to give out the other n***a's name
If I refrain, K Shine said Surf was a snitch
I'm like don't accuse that
So what if he did a couple months for a mandatory three-year sentence, right? We can't prove that
But in his Thisis50 interview he said he did less than two years for two straps, so that's a mandatory six turned into two flat
Now Surf... how you do that?
They said dude rat, like how did you make make him squeal
They said Southwest shuffle n***as
I'm like, they made up a dance for real
They call him Southwest Shuffle not because they'll kill
But because when police put they cards on the table
They get it cut, now they ready to make a deal
Yeah, since he always tryin' surf water n***a
I'ma initally take you south across the border n***a
Yeah, he OK: Oklahoma, n***a
Boy, you sweet like the peaches up in Georgia, n***a
So give ATL N-O: New Orleans, n***a
'Cause Surf gonna be MIA after I floor da n***a
If I order, n***a, you owe me dough
You better pay for it or you'll pay for it
'Cause when I slide through and I ride through it's too late for it
Like a toll booth, you don't have the right amount
When you pay for it, I'll roll up, stick these arms out this window
And get you change for it
And I ain't goin', I'm deaded, I'm dead to this n***a house
He a bitch and I feel disrespected, so I'm tellin' him to get out
With these weapons, tellin' him to get out
'Cause these TEC's are like GPS
Once I address it I'm gettin' lead to this n***a house
Like, where my money, Surf? He like, "I ain't got your shit."
I say n***a what?
He like, "Well, you know, T, I got robbed and shit."
I say n***a what? I'm not convinced, and I dont give a fuck
I step back, blip blip, I let two hit him up
You'll think I gave him a compliment the way it raised his spirits up
I'm sick as fuck, I'll make your mother and sister kiss each other
Break they spine and collar bone
Soon as they press against each other
Your little brother mad, come bit me, I kick the fucker
Grab his neck, twist the fucker, like fuck Surf, get your brother
Surf mad, ran up on me all fast, I let him pass, tripped the fucker
Grabbed a snack, his collar bone smashed
When they pressed against each other
Now he like Keenan Ivory Wayans 'cause I'm Gonna Get You Sucka
Nah, that was wack
It's 'cause I put most his family up in a cast like In Living Color
Lord, my brother
I remember when he first put me on Surf and shit
I was lookin' like I must admit
This old motherfucker Surf can spit
They say he 22, I'm unconvinced, I was thinkin' at least 136
N***a, I understand you reppin' Dirty Jers' and shit
But does that mean you always have to wear dirty shit
They said he gonna be fly today, I said good luck
N***a, 'cause every time I'm out of state
What he have on be out of date like it's been stood up
What do y'all like in Surf? I don't see it
Like maybe it's the way he rhyme or somethin', he just screamin'
Like maybe I'm just sleepin' on Surf, I wasn't thinkin'
He spit another rap out, I snap out, I wasn't thinkin'
I swear, I didn't even need two, I one-pieced him
Close his mouth, choked him out, he wasn't breathin'
Like, "Say what's on your mind, Surf!" – I up-squeezed him
Blow his brains out, now y'all can see he wasn't thinkin'
You crazy guy
Even if Jack Thriller look at me funny through that lazy eye
I'll have him clear stabilized where the doctor have him can't revive
Boy, you better hope God is a graceful guy or Caeser died
You sanctified or ain't alive before you permanently tranquilized
You get hit from that MAC sound like a train collide
He nuts, he go insane inside, and that's not even my crazy side
Leave his legs by the roses, his head by the daisy side
And get rid of all the witnesses
'Cause I ain't tryin' to spend a day inside