Michael:
Woah
Nice place ya got here

Trevor:
Oh yeah
It's easy to mock isn't it
Huh
Cheap and fuckin' easy
But err
This
This here is my place
And my work paid for my place

Michael:
Alright relax
I was just being sarcastic

Trevor:
Yeah well don't be
Alright
Because err
The world doesn't need any more sarcasm
It's the blight of the age

Michael:
Yeah I get the point
Trevor:
You
You don't get the point
You're like every other asshole
Ya made a bit of money
Then you became a turd

Michael:
I got news for ya
I was always a turd

Trevor:
NO
You weren't man
You were something
But now man
Y-y-you're like this place
You're a shell

Michael:
Go fuck yourself
Are you some kind of pure morally justifiable asshole
What
Because you're
You're totally psychotic
Somehow it's okay
Trevor:
I'm honest
Alright
You're the hypocrite

Michael:
Oh yeah
You're a fuckin' hero
So far above it all

Trevor:
Oh yeah
Well I'm not above rippin' open your fucking chest
To see what's replaced your heart

Michael:
Rip it open
See what's there baby
Cuz I'm ready

Steve:
Hello
Woah
Ladies ladies
What's up
Trevor:
Fuck off

Dave:
Listen
I'm sorry
But we've got a problem
Government funding thing
We need you to
Err
"Investigate" a research lab up-state

Steve:
It's about terrorism
The big one
Nerve gas
Biological terror

Trevor:
Thank God I don't pay tax

Dave:
Now listen
You'll need some fairly standard gear
Boat
Tandem rotor heavy-lift helicopter
Truck
Weapons
You'll have to source all that

Michael:
Hahaha

Dave:
The chopper alone will set you back a couple mil

Michael:
Oh
No worries there
Trevor here
He just came in to A LOT of money

Trevor:
Is that sarcasm

Michael:
Oh
You're fuckin' a-right it's sarcasm
You fuck
A few weeks ago
I was happily retired
Sulking by my swimming pool
And my psychotic best friend shows up outta nowhere
To torture me over mistakes I made
Honest mistakes I made over a decade ago
We
Our little posse
Are flat fuckin' broke
But hey
Let's go out spend two million dollars
On a tandem rotor fucking chopper
So I can go steal nerve gas from fucking terrorists
Forgive me
You ignorant fuck
But sarcasm
Is all I fucking got
SARCASM
And a room full of you cunts

Trevor:
YEEESSSSS
Whoo
Welcome back man
It is the old you

Steve:
Yeah yeah yeah
Well
We gotta go
It's been great
But Dave here has got a pilates class
Now remember ladies
You keep us WAAAYYY outta this thing
Bye-bye

Michael:
Oh
Jesus fucking Christ
Alright
I'll give Lester a fuckin' call
He said he knew about somethin'

Trevor:
And you tell him that we're driving towards Paleto Bay
Get in the car