I've been so adamant

Expending my energy trying to fix all the damages

Life is a mess, but the true beauty emerges once  you have learned how to manage it

One at a time, I've come to terms with the fact that this didn't go as I planned it

I have been biding my time, doing the best that I can with what ive been handed

Im just a man, tempted by heathens
They seem to exploit me and all of my weaknesses

I need a reason to seize all these demons they whisper deceptions into my cerebral

What's the point of piety without faith?
Its nothing more than a clever disguise
I Got a habit of claiming the spoils of war and the glory as mine

God im in need of provisions so if youre still up there, send me a sign. Stuck in my prison its shifting to counter attempts to escape by my mind

When did my courage desert me? This arduous journey's contorting my spine. They say itll pass, this doubt im feeling, distorting my mind

Im sorry that I
( could never find the words to say when i needed them most.)
(I'll just push you away, won't let you get close.)
(Perplexed by this life, Im not so certain it even has meaning.)
(All this time i can't believe ive been dreaming)
Trying hard not to move backwards
Cuz' it's a recipe for a disaster
I have been learning from all this experience
Maybe someday, I'll have this life mastered
Im just a man, sans the facades
Mask of obscurity, taking it off
I see the person the i used to be, my insecurities, ripping the seams of my heart

Maybe in time it'll lessen
These burdens subduing me
Where is the person I use to be?
As I grow older, things I desired in infancy, just doesnt make any sense to me

They say that adversity makes you resilient, what's the advantage in losing yourself to make progress?

Apathetic machinery, solely dependent on logical context

Surrender vitality, all of those fallacies breaking my dermis devoid of a purpose

Im lacking the clarity brought by discernment I hope I find purpose

I'll never go back
Hope is the only emotion thats keeping my soul so intact
Got these Infirmities constantly burning me
When will I learn to be happy?
I can't change the past
Held for ransom
Breaking the pillars of slavery
Akin to sampson
Neglecting my stature
They didn't warn me of the hardships that come after

This is my anthem

Yea

Trying to kill all my demons, I only ask that you help me
If I lay bare all my verities, maybe you'll learn to accept to me

I only seek to acheive a feeling of purpose, to realize these dreams, that time will reveal the significance of my emergence, I'm destined to be

"I've been gaining the courage to do what makes me happy. I won't conform for the sake of comfort. I won't comply to avoid confict. Change for the better is never acquired through reticence. To my family, my friends, and Samantha. I love you all."