Jinkx Monsoon
No One Played Santa for Me
When you ain't got no money, honey, Christmas is a joke
Naughty or nice - all I knew was I was broke
Santa came to my house in a beat-up Chevrolet
He cased the joint said what's the point and then he drove away
[Ooh ooh.]
Ring-a-lingin' bells or going on a sleigh ride
Chestnuts, mangers, stockings by the fireside
But I never had the means for the sugarplum dreams
No, I've never been spoiled
We didn't have that cash
We had no stocks to crash
When you come from povеrty
Yuletide's just a fantasy
'Cuz no one playеd Santa for me
[Ooh ooh.]
You got your North Star, Wise Men, Jesus in a haystack
Virgins, angels, God and Mary barebacking
Dasher, Dancer, partridge in a pear tree
Holly and ivy - do you see what I see?
What's all that supposed to mean?
There were no drummer boys on my scene
No no-
'Cuz we drank off-brand soda and our cats had fleas
We celebrated weddings at Applebee's
Hand-me-down clothes with a tear in the ass
It's hard to "werk" when you're working class
You see, I've never been spoiled
We had a plastic Christmas Tree
And we said fuck the bourgeoisie
When you come from poverty
Yuletide's just a fantasy
Christmas is just toil
For a poor boy or girl
If you grow up like me
There's no Hallmark fantasy
'Cuz no one played Santa for me
Ooh, no one played Santa for me
No one played Santa for me