But I was nearly crazy
And I was clearly crazy
[Deacon the Villain]
On I-85 North, going nowhere
Would hit the 400, but I ain't got money for the toll there
Traffic backed up ahead of me, I see the road flares
School bus on my right, kids laughin' with brown and gold hair
Replaying conversations in my head by my ex-wife
From the house work that I did, to the kids, even our sex life
She said I was crazy so I threatened to prove her dead-right
So she got court orders, restraining me, put on the red lights
Frustrated, thinking how the f*ck could I clean it up
Traffic stopped, about 1000 degrees in my truck
Loosened my tie, wiped the sweat out of my eyes, mixed with tears
Mind thick with fears, I've lost everything that I done built for years
Bright yellow school bus f*cking up my limbo
Kids b*tchin', cussin', flickin' boogers upon my window
Start rolling it down for some air and the handle breaks
Kick my door open, dive out, feeling some escape
"We said vows and sh*t, that sh*ts' for life right?!
Yeah, that sh*t's until death, death...
That sh*t can be mended
But that b*tch don't be listening to me!
She'll prolly throw a f*cking fit and sh*t!
I'ma go there that b*tch is gonna listen to me
She'll see I'ma fix this sh*t, f*ck THAT!"
[White man in the background]: "Move your f*cking car, maaaaan!!"
Motherf*cker is my own car really haulting movement
I got some powerful sh*t in my trunk want me to use it?
I grabbed that sh*t, c*cked it now talk like you're silly!
If you needed some release would I f*ck with you, Billy?
"Look away lady, before I swiss cheese your Mazda"
Am I crazy for wanting my babies to have a father!
Gonna show my b*tch of a wife she better work a little harder
Stop them kids from screaming, it's pushing me even farther!
It's my daughter's birthday, Billy, you like this gift?
Your name's not Billy? Really? Then why do you react to it?
If you're an actor, am I your f*ckin' audience?
Kids, look how many different directions his body went
It's okay, I'm not crazy, I got kids your age
Don't be afraid, I said don't be afraid! Behave!
Now y'all be cool now, I'm leaving now, it's beyond hot
'Bout to visit my wife after hitting the pawn shop for more Glocks
I got some sh*t to fix (sinister chuckle) I got some sh*t to fix
Today's about to be one of the biggest days of my life
'Cause I'm about to ask the women I love if she'll be my wife
I just know that she will, for this women, I'll KILL
I used to clean dishes at Micky D's, now I'm on GRILL
So I've been able to save up enough money for this necklace
Along with this ring for when I pop the big question
But my manager's been stressin' the way I been dressin'
Tellin' me I need new shoes but I can't afford to get them!
He's all about perfection and does sh*t that I hate!
Today he wrote me up and I was only five minutes late!
And then he threatened to take me off grill and make me scrub plates
And the toilet where people sh*t out all the food they just ate!
AW f*ck! I'm starting to hear my screws bust
Screw it, I'll do it, He gives me Windex and a toothbrush
Now I'm scrubbin the toilet like, f*ck MY BOSS and HE STINKS!
I'm asking my girl to marry me, f*ck what everyone thinks
Let me look at the ring now to calm me down like my shrink
NOOOOOO! I JUST LOST IT AND NOW IT'S LOST IN THE SINK
And today on my lunchbreak my girl's supposed to come through
I wanna ask her but without the ring what'll I do?
[SOS]: Wassup baby. Listen I wanna tell you something
[SOS]: Well, we've been together for a long time and...
[GIRL]: "Uh huh..."
[SOS]: ...I love you more than anything in this world... Will you marry me?
[GIRL]: "So where's the ring?"
[SOS]: I... I had one but... I dropped it in the sink...
My... my manager... he... he made me get off the grill and clean the toilets
[GIRL]: Yeah... WHATEVER! I'm seeing somebody else anyway, loser!"
f*ck YOU FOR REAL! SNUFF TO YA GRILL! SMACK TO YA FACE!
FOOT TO YOUR CROTCH! Look at the cops...
THANKS FOR THE GAT! RAT-A-TAT-TAT! CRIME IN THE ACT!
b*tch, DO YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT???
SICK cause my mind just snapped pretty hard!
Fatality... RIP YOUR TITTY OFF!
Pull out the gun that I got from the cop
And make her face look like Barbecue sauce
Bite off her nipple like it's on the menu
And spit it out the drive through window inside a pinto and leave the driver
When I fire my pistol like it's a missile. (BLAOW!)
Start to hear sirens whistle I've lost my mind, it's official!
Grab my manager's pencil and stick it in his eye tissue
For having a time issue go to the bathroom and try to kick through
The sink. I made a mess and shot cops. Let off a couple of pop pops
ON THE CLOCK let me go before the alarm stops
I'ma take this damn ring to the pawn shop
To get my f*ckIN money back... (cries) f*ckin b*tch!
Ignition contact in my little compact
Nissan piece of sh*t and I need to quit
Funneling Night Train pummels my right brain
Feel the pain of a hangover, I smell the faint odor of p*ss
I need to lower my risk
Hittin my liver with this liquid deliverance
I'm f*ckin laughin and stuck in traffic
As my 8-track tape deck pumps some wack sh*t
I walked in on my friend with his hand caught in my wife's panty elastic
While she was wearin em!
Started tearin em a new as*h*le verbally
I don't think I hurt em
Twisted off the MD and Bourbon
Got the straight vodka in my coffee thermos
Put on my game face and walk in the door
Of my job at the strip mall discount department store
[Boss]: Dan-O! Happy Birthday
[Boss]: Oh, before I forget uh, we're gonna have to let you go Dan-O
[Boss]: Yeahh, we've been monitoring incoming packages for a while now, we
Noticed you have a fetish for naked pictures of Janet Reno and Will Smith
[Boss]: Hey, uh...what's the machine gun in the paper bag for?
No, Mr. Johnson! YOUR ASS IS FIRED!
Heres your pink slip get hit with six clips
Salepeople out front, I ain't forget ya'll
Split ya'll, and everybody in this strip mall
Walk in the Dollar Store and just let off
Now even the managers body is 50% off!
Hit up Toys R Us and bust my sh*t
(ratttatat) TRICK LUH DA KIDS!!
Music store massacre, cus theyre trying to tell me
21.99 for a Nelly CD?!
Verizon f*cked up my service so they ain't out of the woods
Can you hear me now? BIATCH!(gunshot) GOOD!!!
Shop owners, cashiers, even the patrons
This is punishment for gettin caught in my matrix
The chance for survival is miniscule
I see two dudes walking towards the pawn shop they bout to get it too