[Intro: j. sula]
Sinking, falling, deep into it
Lost myself in music
I never thought I'd make it
Tried to hide but I just can't fake it

[Verse 1: j. sula]
Feeling suffocated, always frustrated
End of the road, I was contemplative
Talking to my friends, wasn't really helping
Couldn't come to God, I guess I was a vagrant
Chains on my soul, my mind was weighing me down
Less like a pleasure, more burden to keeping me 'round
Past became the present, I'm worried 'bout me now
Don't wanna be honest because I speak loud
What do I know? Don't wanna go
Had it together, I'm losing control
I'll hit the road, drive off a slopе
I can't believe how it's hurting mе so

[Verse 2: j. sula]
But I'll keep it together while we at this party
I'm coping with a can of Coke and some Bacardi
Wanna talk to God but I wish He could call me
Hit my line, give advice, 'cause right now I'm bawling
Tears forming, these years storming won't let 'em drop
Thoughts intruding on my peace, I can't get 'em to stop
Pick my Bible up, use it as a prop
Put my Bible down, my soul really flopped
Nights in the east, I couldn't sleep
All I could think, how did they meet?
I was down bad, I know
But I was that alone
Tried to fill the void up, yuh
Just to get my joy up, yuh
Never could get let down, no no
It's all in my head now
[Bridge: j. sula]
I wish I could change, I wish I could change
Tried this for a year, naw, I just stayed the same
I'll let it be known, really tried to grow
My feelings wouldn't go, this burn is pretty slow
I lost my innocence, yeah yeah
I wish I was a kid again, yeah yeah
But I can't turn back the clock, so I'll take what I got
And I'll flip all these thoughts on their head

[Verse 3: xixst]
After everything, still keep my head up
Keep applying the pressure, I never let up
'Cause I know if I don't, then I'll get fed up
And I'll sleep until the Lord raises the dead up
Half of it's just practicing
Passages that pastor read
Cracking like a casket and my body's feeling plastic
I lift up my eyes to heaven, I just see the clouds
Sending up a prayer but the rain is coming down
I'm not a role model, please don't look up to me
I'll let you down, don't put your trust in me
Godly, something that I wanna be, I can't
Even recognize the God in me, yeah

[Verse 4: j. sula]
While we on this topic, while we pushing gossip
I wanna be candid 'bout everything that God did
I was on the frontlines, I was in the mosh pit
Almost had my blood pouring all over the faucet
I been keeping distance from Him
I know I'm His child and I'm welcome home
But I been pretty vicious to Him
Feel like I don't deserve forgiveness from Him
They say read your Bible to draw closer to His Word
But if I know all of that and it's valid, it's assured
Then why can't I just lift my eyes to read a single page?
How can we be closer when I always run away?
God, what's the move?
I wanna trust You and I hope that I'm not misconstrued
But I just need a sign, I'm just a simple dude
And I'm sorry if I'm coming at You sounding rude
I'm just confused, God
They told me, just trust His timing
If there's a mountain, just keep on climbing
'Cause at the summit, there's a horizon
And that's where God is, He's just beyond it
And if I come out from where I'm hiding
Then I could prosper, then I could find it
The realization that there's a purpose
Maybe I'm bruised up, maybe I'm hurting
But just like seasons, and how they change
I'll put the work in, and do the same
And I won't worry 'bout if everything is right
I'ma chase my successes in God's time, Puhon