[Spoken Intro]
[Meatwad] Hey look everybody, its anti-records recording artist Neko Case
[Neko Case] Hey Meatwad!
[Meatwad] Yea hey, what you doin' in my house girl?
[Neko Case] Well you invited me, were friends Meatwad, remember?
[Meatwad] Oh, yeah right, yeah I know, you ain't' no cop are ya? Cause' you supposed to say if you is
[Neko Case] No I'm not a cop
[Meatwad]Oh good, Neko I'm glad you're here, lets you and me sing a song about the best Christmas gift of all, the one that comes from deep within... from the nose region, specifically

Santa left a booger in my stocking
Santa left a smear of Christmas cheer
St. Nick swiped and wiped
And left me something right
I knew I'd been a good boy this year

[Neko Case] Meatwad someone left a booger in your stocking
But I don't think that they meant it as a gift;
I really think the issue was they couldn't find a tissue
And they used your stocking as a handkerchief

[Meatwad] No it was Santa who left a booger in my stocking, Neko case
And he made sure it was Christmas red and green
He took his mitten off
And shoved his finger up the booger trough
And brought a gift down his nose chimney
[Neko Case] Meatwad you leave boogers everywhere
Under table tops and chairs
You left Santa some snacks
Three boogers and earwax
You strung boogers round the tree
With bows on boogers underneath
And on the back door, by the porch
You left a booger wreath

[Meatwad]Wait, are you saying...
I might have left a booger in my own stocking?
Well Neko Case that just don't make no sense
Every time I pick a winner
I make that winner dinner
And I digest all the evidence

No it was Santa Clause left a booger in my stocking-

[Spoken]
[Neko Case] Stop, guys just stop, stop
[Meatwad] -and he blows his nose... what, what happened?
[Neko Case] It's not Santa's booger Meatwad
[Meatwad] What?
[Neko Case] I'm sorry buddy; it's not Santa's booger
[Meatwad] Well shoot Neko I, I know that
[Neko Case] You do?
[Meatwad] Yea, Santa don't make his own boogers, it's an elf booger, see in his workshop, up in the North Pole, they grow boogers in the elf noses, Santa just picks 'em and distributes, he's a middleman, I just didn't want to complicate things for the listener, I, I know how the operation works so, so we good, you do the song the way, the way I wrote it
[Neko Case] Okay, Santa left a booger in your stocking
[Meatwad] I'm glad that we can finally agree
He shoved his finger in his nose
And pulled out a nugget of gold
For me to complete my snotativity

Santa must have had a cold 'cause he blew out 24 karat gold, for me to complete my snotativity

[Spoken]
[Meatwad] Alright, so you want you some eggnog Neko?
[Neko Case] Is that nutmeg?
[Meatwad] ah, nosemeg... boogies
[Neko Case] Thank you, No