My uncles, man, my family only fucked in one position: up and down
Man, my uncle: "Boy, don't you ever kiss no pussy!
I mean that, whatever you do in life, don't kiss no pussy!"
I couldn't wait to kiss the pussy
He'd been wrong about everything else
Woman had to beat me off
"It's enough, it's enough, please, please, oh, two days" Haha
(Man, you crazy!) Huh? (You crazy!) Yeah
You ever be with a woman you wanted to be with for a long time, man
And you finally get with her, and you cum in about four seconds?
And you be panicked, jack, tryna be cool
"Oh God, Lord, don't let her know
Just let it stay heavy if not hard"
"You're not moving as much as you were"
"I'm just resting a little, I want you to enjoy this"
White folks do things a lot different than n***as
They eat quiet and shit, you be over there, they be
"Pass the potatoes—thank you, darling
Could I have a bit of that sauce?
How are the kids coming along with their studies?
Think we'll be having sexual intercourse this evening?
We're not? Well, what the heck"
Black families be different, have more rhythm, shit
My father, when we ate, it was fun 'cause he made noise and shit
"Ayy bitch, where the food? Goddamn, mama, come on, shit
Ah, you muthafucka, you, shit, goddamn, baby
Shit, n***a, kiss my ass! Better get that meat down that bone, muthafucka!
What you think you doin'? Shit"
And I got a auntie, man, my aunt Mancine, man
Can suck a neckbone, it's a work of art
I mean, she can fuck with a neckbone, brother
She be all in and get that white shit out and stuff, throw it to the dog, jack
Dog look at it like, "What am I supposed to do with that muthafucka?!"
Different lifestyles, see, white folks don't play enough. they don't relax
They don't know how to play The Dozens, nothin'
Right? They get uptight
You tell a white dude, "Go fuck yourself! Ah, fuck you, muthafucka!"
He get very offended, "I beg your pardon
I need a supervisor here, I don't believe that kind of language is necessary
We certainly can communicate on a higher plane than that"
And don't say nothin' about their mama
They go, "My mom? She was a great ol' gal"
White folks fuck quiet too, right? I seen y'all in the movies
You don't make no noise, I go to the movies
I be watching white folks, they be, "Ooh, eee, ooh, ooh"
N***as make noise, they be, "Ah, you muthafucka! Ah, goddamn, baby!
Ah, don't move now, bitch! Ah shit!"
A lot of you people look at me
But I see some people in the audience, older people in the audience be going
"Mmm, mmm, mmm, boy, you ought to be 'shamed of yourself
I ain't lyin', junior"
That's the way my grandmother treats me, right