MC Paul Barman
Salvation Barmy
[Intro, Female sing-song]
I am a pretty little dutch girl
As pretty as pretty can be
And all the boys around my block
Are crazy over me

[Verse 1: MC Paul Barman & The Black Italiano]
I was walking down the street looking at boobs, asses, faces
Went in the salvation army for some used glasses cases
Next to the doorway
The cashier in cashmere held up an old map of Norway
She flipped it over and the message read "you're gay"
I looked at her anxiously, two lip rings looked like fangs to me
I said "hope my sperm'll get under your thermal
Underwear, because you're cuter than Nermal"
She said "go get a hair cut!" so I showed her my bare butt
Pulled down my Carhartts, put my moon in her star charts
And to make stupid stupider, I slapped a ring on my ass
Said "Now my moon's Jupiter", Fucking asshole

[Male sing-song]
She has a boyfriend Fatty
He comes from Cincinnati
With 48 toes and a pickle on his nose
And this is the way the story goes
[Verse 2: MC Paul Barman & The Black Italiano]
Clicky clack, who's at the rack with the jackets
It's Black Italiano looking black cause he's backlit
Hey what's up with these fucking Chinese looking street gang jackets?
We started to slow dance, I said "no chance for romance"
If I have to wear condoms cause they feel like snow pants
But I couldn't stay calm because she revealed the bra
Made of two yarmulkes, I said "you're hella great
Let's celebrate!", we took the freight elevate-
Er to continue our back and forth shagging sports
In the room with the Davenport where men become cuckolds
She chuckled, I felt her knuckle above my belt buckle

[Male sing-song]
One day when she was walking
She heard her boyfriend talking
To a little girl with a strawberry curl
And this is what he said to her

[Verse 3: MC Paul Barman]
My pissed off jimbrowski turned three colors like Krzysztof Kieślowski
I said a handjob's a man's job, yo' job's a blow job
That porn snob, that corncob with a doorknob
Is a born slob, but not blameless
Every penis wants to be famous
It's a good way to stay misogynistic and aimless
She said "I'm glad you explained that
My name is Jane Pratt
Before you jerk off on my head
Please pass me that rain hat."
So I did, you know? What can I say?
I'm a lonely male who won't settle for any phony in a ponytail
[Outro: The Black Italiano]
Come on, bring your woman over here
So I can show her a real Italian man
I got the best of both fucking worlds here
Fucking black man's dick and an Italian man's brain
*Prince Paul breaks into laughter after being heckled*
Fucking assholes
*Laughter from the booth*