Oh no, I think that Mars is in retrograde
Can't date ya, gotta wait until Saturday
Hot sex with a Gemini in '85
Had a rumble with a Capricorn, I don't know why
Every night I read my horrorscope and cry

Leo
Virgo
Don't go outside, don't go outside
Pisces
Libra
Don't even try, don't even try

The moon is full
But my mood's down low
My heart says yes
But my chart says no!

Horrorscope blues, astrology abuse
The planets are confused and everyone's gonna lose

Cancer
Prancer
Don't go outside, don't go outside
Dasher
Dancer
Don't even try, don't even try
The moon is full
But my mood's down low
My heart says yes
But my chart says no!

Oh no, I think that Mars is in retrograde
Can't date ya, gotta wait until Saturday
Hot sex with a Gemini in '85
Had a rumble with a Capricorn, I don't know why
Every night I read my horrorscope and cry

Oh no, everything is in retrograde!
Slapped a Virgo 'cause I forgot to burn my sage
Car broke down when I smooched that little Gemini
Skinny dipping with my super fly Pisces guy

Every night I read my horrorscope and cry