[Verse 1: Stephen Colbert]
I love snow and I love sleigh bells
Love singing carols, and boy, I love sleigh bells
It's a jingle jingle Santa party
It's a jingle jingle Santa party
Christmastime's the merriest time of all
Now there's gingerbread and tasty eggnog
Candy canes and yummy yule logs
Christmas has treats up the wa-zoo
But the best Christmas treat is being with you

[Intro: Killer Mike]
Ho-ho-ho-ho, sheeple, wake the fuck up
Wake the fuck up, wake the fuck up
RTJ
Run The Jewels

[Verse 2: Killer Mike (EL-P)]
(Pick up a brick, put your eggnog down
Your country's being run by an orange fucking clown)
Well let me break it down for how your stocking's getting stuffed
(White kids getting presents) black kids getting cuffed
(No Prancer, no Dancer, just Sessions, plus Bannon
Rudolph, the redneck fuck-faced klansman)
Fuck the North Pole, better speak North Korean
The president might tweet us in the atom bomb season
[Verse 3: Stephen Colbert]
Well, you got a point though, the world can be frightful
But hey, there's Santa, and he delightful
Let's be merry, not pout or grimace
Now stock your stuffing and forget for 5 minutes

[Verse 4: Killer Mike (EL-P)]
(Ain't no chestnuts roasting, only souls on the flames
Congratulations mankind, you're fucking insane
The air's made of smog and the earth's getting fucked
We're at war every day, that's a drone, not a sleigh)
Facebook reminder, time to go out and shop
And your government's infiltrated by Russian black ops
Christmas so white, like the nazi alt-right
And they carolin with torches, violent and deadly night

[Verse 5: Stephen Colbert]
Good point, but there's also
Sitting by the fire and sharing conversation
Trimming the tree, it's a magical creation
Put politics aside for just one night
The whole family's here, so try to keep it light

[Verse 6: Killer Mike (El-P) {Both}]
{Run The Jewels} (5x)
{Joy to the world}, (will never come)
{We shit'd in Santa's sack}
Santa's my bitch, creepy cracker-ass witch
Quit spying on the kids, you perv, eat shit
(Imma Pa-rum-pum-pum-pummel the shit out of Kris Kringle
Emancipate the elves, make Mrs. Claus single)
I will fuck up your sled, dropkick Frosty's head
And burn down your shop, why not? {We're all dead}
[Verse 5: Stephen Colbert (El-P) {Killer Mike}]
Personally, I think this holiday's super
And it's really silly to be a party pooper
Don't need to be angry, don't need to be mean
We can deal with these issues in 2018
Kiss me by the mistletoe when it's moonlit
(Step off, gramps, that's some creepy-ass shit)
How about some messages of (?) and glee
{Trump's next (?), we could start World III}

[Verse 6: Stephen Colbert]
Well, okay guys, if rapping's the game
Then check it out, 'cause I can do the same
Christmas is cool, it's a great holiday
For the reason's I said and the ones I didn't say
So kick up your heels on your jingle bell sled
And cherish the moment (??????????????????????)

[Outro: Stephen Colbert (Killer Mike) {El-P}]
(Dude, you just brought it way down)
I was rapping my truth
{It was, uh, it's surreal} (surreal)
He called Santa his bitch!
(He is)
That's worse!
You said Hershey hole
{Uh, a year ago}
It doesn't matter, you still said it
{Stop bringing it up, Stephen!}