[Verse 1]
Rarely does chi factor into
The type of people he chooses to consume
He likes 'em big and overgrown
More meat to gristle, more muscle he can hone

[Verse 2]
Two Hmongs from a deli, he sriracha'd and jellied
And made a corset out of them for his belly
A Haitian from Florida's now a rug in his foyer
A girl from Delaware is a high-arched back chair
The paperboy's a paperweight, Alberta's a lampshade
The fireman's an ashtray, The DJ spins as fan blades
“When will it end, oh, these horrible things?”
He asks himself nightly, voices in his head sing

[Chorus]
“You're born what you're meant to be
If you're bad, then be bad the best
If you're good, stay away from me
We're a bad influence, we're the best”

[Bridge]
If you wanna steal, go and steal what you want!
If sniffing women's heels gets you off, I won't watch!
And if you gotta dress like a fox in distress in the woods
Well, you can, and you could, and you should!
[Verse 3]
Oh, here's a story of a lovely lady
Who had three daughters who drove her fucking crazy
She hacked ‘em up with an old machete
And threw a party with dead daughter confetti
I comb my hair! (hair!)
I brush my teeth! (teeth!)
I eat my peas like a good boy's supposed to
I wear a tie! (tie!)
Boa constrictive (snake!)
I eat my pride like a lion's supposed to

[Chorus]
You're born what you're meant to be
If you're bad, then be bad the best
If you're good, stay away from me
I'm a bad influence, I'm the best
You're born what you're meant to be
If you're bad, then be bad the best
If you're good, stay away from me
We're a bad influence, we're the best