[Verse 1: Doug Robb]
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you...

[Chorus: Kanye West]
Let's have a toast for the douchebags
Let's have a toast for the assholes
Let's have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let's have a toast for the jerk-offs
That'll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

[Verse 2: Doug Robb & Kanye West]
I'm not a perfect person
I sent this bitch a picture of my dick
But I'll continue learning
But I'm not too good at that shit
So I have to say I'm so gifted at finding
What I don't like the most
I just want you to know
(Bell jingle)
So I think it's time for us to have toast
(Toaster clicking)
[Chorus: Doug Robb & Kanye West]
I found a reason for ree
To change who I used to ree
A rere to start over new
And the asshole is you

[Verse 3: Doug Robb & Kanye West]
I wish that I could take a picture of my dick
I don't know what it is, it's doo-doo
(Distant fart)
Shit
I'm a perfect person
I wish that I could hurt you
(Screaming, stabbing sound)
Run away as fast as you can

[Verse 4: Doug Robb, Kanye West & Andre 3000]
24/7, 365, pee stays on my mind
I-I-I-I did it
Alright, alright I admit it
I found a reason for pee
I found a reason to show my dick
Knock it off
Pee-pee, chop it off
(Stabbing sound, low-pitched screaming)
Let's talk over my dick
Knock it off
24/7, 365, pussy stays on my mind
I-I-I-I did it
Alright--
Alright (x40)
(Stabbing sound, high-pitched screaming)
Knock it off
[Instrumental outro over autotuned vocals]

[Reversed fart sound]