I'm 20 today
A weird feeling I'd say
Like I'm supposed to straighten my back
What do people do when they get here too?
Do we know or do we just make it up?

Get a job, get a home, find a girl, play some golf
Drink whiskey straight without doing a face
Fix the shelf, change some bulbs, be a fan of a sport
Punch a clock, you're close to the mark
But I might not be fit for that

With every year slowly grows my fear
That I'm not where I should be
If I were 16 then this would have been
A hell lot more impressive

Get a dumb hobby, bottle your beer
Punch your wife in the face, have a son who's not a queer
Make a good eulogy, partake in fantasy
Football, of course I ain't gay
But I still might not be fit for that

It'll probably be just like last year
With a different number
Higher expectations with every year, oh dear