It's my birthday today
But I don't want to party
'Cause there are other important things on my mind

It's not the finals results
It's not my body that revolts me
It just makes me feel a little bit crummy

I'm being drafted to the army
Three years sounds alarming
Not sure what to do
I guess I'll have to sit through

Some office job, not that thrilling
Well, at least there's no killing
Involved with my service
Yet I'm still pretty nervous

It's my birthday today
And I'm not sure what to say
I guess this thing didn't come out very funny
But I am blaming the army

'Cause why would, why would you select me to... I can't go through the army. Look at me. Look at me! I have the arms of a baby Asian girl. Not even a boy, a girl. A baby girl! Look at my hands. Look at them!

It's my birthday today
And I don't wanna' celebrate
'Cause the army's making my future look bleak
Well at least I can drink
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

I don't even like alcohol. I do though, get me some so I can deal with the army

End scene