Molière
The Imaginary Invalid (Act 3 Scene 22)
SCENE XXII.——ARGAN, BÉRALDE, ANGÉLIQUE, CLÉANTE, TOINETTE.

ANG.
Ah! what a delightful surprise! Father, since heaven has given you back to our love, let me here throw myself at your feet to implore one favour of you. If you do not approve of what my heart feels, if you refuse to give me Cléante for a husband, I conjure you, at least, not to force me to marry another. It is all I have to ask of you.

CLE.
(throwing himself at Argan's feet). Ah! Sir, allow your heart to be touched by her entreaties and by mine, and do not oppose our mutual love.

BER.
Brother, how can you resist all this?

TOI.
Will you remain insensible before such affection?

ARG.
Well, let him become a doctor, and I will consent to the marriage. (To Cléante) Yes, turn doctor, Sir, and I will give you my daughter.

CLE.
Very willingly, Sir, if it is all that is required to become your son-in-law. I will turn doctor; apothecary also, if you like. It is not such a difficult thing after all, and I would do much more to obtain from you the fair Angélique.

BER.
But, brother, it just strikes me; why don't you turn doctor yourself? It would be much more convenient to have all you want within yourself.

TOI.
Quite true. That is the very way to cure yourself. There is no disease bold enough to dare to attack the person of a doctor.
ARG.
I imagine, brother, that you are laughing at me. Can I study at my age?

BER.
Study! What need is there? You are clever enough for that; there are a great many who are not a bit more clever than you are.

ARG.
But one must be able to speak Latin well, and know the different diseases and the remedies they require.

BER.
When you put on the cap and gown of a doctor, all that will come of itself, and you will afterwards be much more clever than you care to be.

ARG.
What! We understand how to discourse upon diseases when we have that dress?

BER.
Yes; you have only to hold forth; when you have a cap and gown, any stuff becomes learned, and all rubbish good sense.

TOI.
Look you, Sir; a beard is something in itself; a beard is half the doctor.

CLE.
Anyhow, I am ready for everything.

BER.
(to Argan). Shall we have the thing done immediately?
ARG.
How, immediately?

BER.
Yes, in your house.

ARG.
In my house?

BER.
Yes, I know a body of physicians, friends of mine, who will come presently, and will perform the ceremony in your hall. It will cost you nothing.

ARG.
But what can I say, what can I answer?

BER.
You will be instructed in a few words, and they will give you in writing all you have to say. Go and dress yourself directly, and I will send for them.

ARG.
Very well; let it be done.