GÉRONTE, SCAPIN.

SCA
(affecting not to see GÉRONTE). O Heaven! O unforeseen misfortune! O unfortunate father! Poor Géronte, what will you do?

GER
(aside). What is he saying there with that doleful face?

SCA
Can no one tell me whereto find Mr. Géronte?

GER
What is the matter, Scapin?

SCA
(running about on the stage, and still affecting not to see or hear GÉRONTE). Where could I meet him, to tell him of this misfortune?

GER
(stopping SCAPIN). What is the matter?

SCA
(as before). In vain I run everywhere to meet him. I cannot find him.

GER
Here I am.
SCA
(as before). He must have hidden himself in some place which nobody can guess.

GER
(stopping SCAPIN again). Ho! I say, are you blind? Can't you see me?

SCA
Ah! Sir, it is impossible to find you.

GER
I have been near you for the last half-hour. What is it all about?

SCA
Sir....

GER
Well!

SCA
Your son, Sir....

GER
Well! My son....

SCA
Has met with the strangest misfortune you ever heard of.
GER
What is it?

SCA
This afternoon I found him looking very sad about something which you had said to him, and in which you had very improperly mixed my name. While trying: to dissipate his sorrow, we went and walked about in the harbour. There, among other things, was to be seen a Turkish galley. A young Turk, with a gentlemanly look about him, invited us to go in, and held out his hand to us. We went in. He was most civil to us; gave us some lunch, with the most excellent fruit and the best wine you have ever seen.

GER
What is there so sad about all this?

SCA
Wait a little; it is coming. Whilst we were eating, the galley left the harbour, and when in the open sea, the Turk made me go down into a boat, and sent me to tell you that unless you sent by me five hundred crowns, he would take your son prisoner to Algiers.

GER
What! five hundred crowns!

SCA
Yes, Sir; and, moreover, he only gave me two hours to find them in.

GER
Ah! the scoundrel of a Turk to murder me in that fashion!

SCA
It is for you, Sir, to see quickly about the means of saving from slavery a son whom you love so tenderly.

GER
What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? {Footnote: Que diable allait-il faire dans cette galère? This sentence has become established in the language with the meaning, "Whatever business had he there?"}
SCA
He had no idea of what would happen.

GER
Go, Scapin, go quickly, and tell that Turk that I shall send the police after him.

SCA
The police in the open sea! Are you joking?

GER
What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for?

SCA
A cruel destiny will sometimes lead people.

GER
Listen, Scapin; you must act in this the part of a faithful servant.

SCA
How, Sir?

GER
You must go and tell that Turk that he must send me back my son, and that you will take his place until I have found the sum he asks.

SCA
Ah! Sir; do you know what you are saying? and do you fancy that that Turk will be foolish enough to receive a poor wretch like me in your son's stead?

GER
What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for?

SCA
He could not foresee his misfortune. However, Sir, remember that he has given me only two hours.

GER
You say that he asks....

SCA
Five hundred crowns.

GER
Five hundred crowns! Has he no conscience?

SCA
Ah! ah! Conscience in a Turk!

GER
Does he understand what five hundred crowns are?

SCA
Yes, Sir, he knows that five hundred crowns are one thousand five hundred francs. {Footnote: The écu stands usually for petit écu, which equalled three franks. "Crown," employed in a general sense, seems the only translation possible.}

GER
Does the scoundrel think that one thousand five hundred francs are to be found in the gutter?

SCA
Such people will never listen to reason.

GER
But what the deuce did he want to go in that galley for?

SCA
Ah! what a waste of words! Leave the galley alone; remember that time presses, and that you are running the risk of losing your son for ever. Alas! my poor master, perhaps I shall never see you again, and that at this very moment, whilst I am speaking to you, they are taking you away to make a slave of you in Algiers! But Heaven is my witness that I did all I could, and that, if you are not brought back, it is all owing to the want of love of your father.

GER
Wait a minute, Scapin; I will go and fetch that sum of money.

SCA
Be quick, then, for I am afraid of not being in time.

GER
You said four hundred crowns; did you not?

SCA
No, five hundred crowns.

GER
Five hundred crowns!

SCA
Yes.

GER
What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for?

SCA
Quite right, but be quick.

GER
Could he not have chosen another walk?

SCA
It is true; but act promptly.

GER
Cursed galley!

SCA
(aside) That galley sticks in his throat.

GER
Here, Scapin; I had forgotten that I have just received this sum in gold, and I had no idea it would so soon be wrenched from me. (Taking his purse out of his pocket, and making as if he were giving it to SCAPIN.) But mind you tell that Turk that he is a scoundrel.

SCA
(holding out his hand). Yes.

GER
(as above). An infamous wretch.

SCA
(still holding out his hand). Yes.

GER
(as above). A man without conscience, a thief.

SCA
Leave that to me.

GER
(as above). That....

SCA
All right.

GER
(as above). And that, if ever I catch him, he will pay for it.

SCA
Yes.

GER
(putting back the purse in his pocket). Go, go quickly, and fetch my son.

SCA
(running after him). Hallo! Sir.

GER
Well?

SCA
And the money?

GER
Did I not give it to you?

SCA
No, indeed, you put it back in pour pocket.

GER
Ah! it is grief which troubles my mind.

SCA
So I see.

GER
What the deuce did he want to go in that galley for? Ah! cursed galley! Scoundrel of a Turk! May the devil take you!

SCAPIN (alone)
He can't get over the five hundred crowns I wrench from him; but he has not yet done with me, and I will make him pay in a different money his imposture about me to his son.