You get the hotel, I'll get the box of wine
No sadder words have been spoken since the dawn of time
When we were young we never think that it would come to this
Because you only get one shot, I took my shot and missed
She said "you just keep it still, love
I'll get the cameras going"
I'm still amazed at the things to keep my debt from growing
She says "we've got some sort of symbiotic relationship"
And for our purposes she says she finds me well equipped

(She's barking up my tree and bouncing on my knee)
Like some sort of little baby
(She's talking turkey, smoking my jerky)
I guess I'm in the marker for what she's hawking
Build some more shelves because we're gonna keep stocking
We can talk turkey til the turkey starts talking to me

Her stomach's bigger than my eyes
(Happy Thanksgiving, baby)
She smothers me inside
This time I daren't forget the gravy

She says "I'll just freshen up now
I'm expecting some more friends"
And it's becoming clear to me
There's more filth around the bend
She said I'm too for (?) for her kind of internet
And she always gets everything that she sets out to get
(She's teaching birds and bees and always crushing me)
Like a leather monstrosity
(she's talking turkey, smoking my jerky)
Better get the door cause I hear your friends knocking
Turn around sister and just keep walking
We can talk turkey til the turkey starts talking to me

She's shaking her thighs
(You really know how to treat a lady)
She's smothers me and dies
Happy Thanksgiving, baby
Happy Thanksgiving, baby
Happy Thanksgiving, baby
Happy Thanksgiving, baby
Baby