Interesting and sophisticated
Refusing to be celebrated
It's a monumental big screen kiss
It's so deep it's meaningless

One day you'll just up and quit
And that'll be it
Just then the stripper stopped in a coughing fit
She said, "Sorry, I can't go on with this"

Yeah, that's awful close but that's not why
I'm so hard done by

It was true cinema-a-clef
You should see it before there's nothing left
In an epic too small to be tragic
You'll have to wait a minute 'cause it's an instamatic

Yeah, that's awful close but that's not why
I'm so hard done by

Just then the room became more dimly lit
As the MC carried on with it
And now that I've got you all strangely compelled
I'm afraid Candy's not feeling well
Close but that's not why
I'm so hard done by