[ELWOOD, spoken]
You never told me your proposal story! I thought we said we'd never keep secrets from each other. 

[OWEN, spoken]
We never said that. 

[FRAN, spoken]
Dude, my wax has now hardened in places you can't imagine. You owe me. 

[PAIGE, spoken]
It really wasn't that bad. 

[OWEN, spoken]
It was bad. It was very, very bad. 

[FRAN, spoken]
Okay, now you have to tell us, or I quit. 

[OWEN, spoken]
*sigh* Fine. 

[OWEN, PAIGE, BOTH, sung]
It was a cold and snowy night in winter
I took her to our favorite place for dinner
It was the perfect setting, didn't mind the sweating
Coming from your hands
Après vous
He chose a nice champagne to taste
I dropped it
The cork flew up into his face
I popped it
Got quite the shiner
You were fine
Though all the wine went right into your salad/my salad
To this day I'm still ashamed/he's still ashamed
Of how it happened, but it happened
And that's not all that happened that night
We walked to where we met for reminiscing
His face was green, but still we started kissing
I pulled away to blurt my feelings out
A burp gave way from all the dairy
It happens, honey!
And when I went to kneel, it was unpleasant
A passing dog had left behind a present
Now, looking back, I'm smitten, seeing your commitment
But it all went wrong
Up 'til now, I wonder how/he wonders how
I let it happen/he let it happen, but it happened
And that's not all that happened that night
Oh, don't you know, that I fumbled that ring
Watched it disappearing through the grate
Oh, great
The poop on my knee, I flagged the NYPD
And we shivered through a three-hour wait
La-da, da-da-da-da
[COP, spoken]
Ah, here you go. 

[OWEN, spoken]
Thanks. 

[OWEN, PAIGE, BOTH, sung]
The ring was handed back and it was drippy
The muck stuck to my hand 'cause it was nippy
And somehow, all the while, I couldn't help but smile
Because I knew he'd say
Paige, will you marry me?
Yes!
(spoken)
Oh, maybe don't. The sewer. 
(sung)
To this day I'm sad to say/I'm glad to say that's how it happened, yes, it happened
Just like everything after that night
There's no way I can repay you for what happened 'cause it happened
And it's history we cannot rewrite
Da-da-da-da
Oh, that's how it happened
To happen that night