From the makers of a movie called Space Jam, and the makers of Laryngitis Batman comes a movie that is rainy and frightening. There is also underwater lava lightning. There's more blackness, lots of shots of monsters. Lots of destruction, just like Man Of Steel, it's awkward. One big one ate the Golden Gate for breakfast, now it's raining cars. I wonder what's the next twist. There's a bunch of baddies that'll fuck up your brunch. More like Kool-Aid guy, not Hawaiian Punch. Giant foot print will make you all hold hands. Jet fighters crash, we need a better plan
These monsters making messes man, I hope they clean it up. From the guy who left The Hobbit, didn't want to split it up. Comes sexy people in portal suits with portal kicks. They'll fight Godzilla in the sequel, that's what I predict. More recruits in robot suits inside of bigger robots. Gonna find the monster and shit'll go nuts. Lots of CGI and melancholy memories, hard to see. We'll probably roll our eyes because we're very hard to please
It's just like Dance Dance Revolution. Robots walking down the street causing that confusion. After the Fourth, Johnny Depp will get disgraced by robots and monsters that didn't come from outer space. Robots in the water because robots do not float. I promise it'll be awesome, here's a promissory note. Got that girl from Schindler's list, now she wears a blue coat. Robots way up high, maybe they had a few tokes
Go big or go extinct is a statement that I know not. Robots crashing on the beach like saving private robots. Songbird from Bio-Shock for no reason shows up. Clown stares them down, it's a very ballsy tactic. Robots wrestling monsters like b-boys in Intergalactic. Real Steel will squeal, Transformers will get tabled. We'll all go and see it cause we're canceling our cable
Wrestling moves we recognize, the atomic skull crusher. Hellboy and JJ signed up just like Bieber signed to Usher. There's underwater wrestling, did I fail to mention rain? Punches to the jaw that ought to cause that TMJ. It's also raining sparks so let's rock a Logan pose. Something explodes, makes you go, "Nooo."
JJ without glasses, celebrate the death of hipsters. Showdown bout to go down got to love this popcorn pictures. Some bitch is going to take a trip on a carnival cruise. Robots versus monsters, somebody's gonna lose. It's Pacific Rim, we unanimously approve. And a robot hand is gonna grab your boob
Yes they called it Rim
Go take a hike, and don't forget the trail mix, bitch. Aw man