[Verse 1]
I got an allergy, for every pedigree
So I got myself a robot dog that's Japanese
But yo, he's hard to please
He's always gotta pee
But he never sips a drip
This chip is playin' me
The way it plays ladies, is such a sight to see
He gets more digits than I could inside my wildest dreams
He plays the hoes instead of playin' fetch with me
He sniffs the toes of Tiffany and Stephanie
That brings up Emily, she was my latest squeeze
Robot dog stole that girl right out from under me
Sometimes I wonder why I supply the energy
To my mortal enemy that should be a best friend to me

[Hook]
Robot dog! He down tequila out of Tommy navel
Robot dog! He drinks his owner underneath the table
Robot dog! I'm afraid this foe is fuckin' fatal
I'm about to go pre-natal, end up in a baby cradle
Ro-bot-dog, turn him off, motherfucker! Say turn him off!
I say ro-bot-dog, turn him off, motherfucker! Say turn him off!

[Verse 2]
He never pays the rent, he kicks me outta bed
Well I'm the pissed submissive, he's the fuckin dominance
And it's been really tense, I'm feiging impotence
I got a robot dog and haven't gotten any since
All my pals are fucking meloncholy malcontents
From Malcolm in the Middle to Malcolm X
He eats filet mignon, I'm eatin fuckin Alpha-Bits
And the motherfucker just left me the consonants
I hold his leash while he gets all the compliments
He gets more attention than a one eyed elephant
He's in the club, I'm in my car out of my element
In a Honda Element, feelin' irrevelant
But it's on like it's Vaughn comma Vince
I wanna be gone like I'm Jon Favreau havin' a fit
He's surrounded by chicks rubbin' their D cup tits
I flip the toilet lid, read a Maxim mag, bust a couple kids
[Hook]

[Beat stops and Robot Dog barks a few times]