[Nik Walker]
Ah, Michael Luwoye

[Michael Luwoye]
My bro, yo

[Nik Walker]
Didja hear the news about the worldwide pandemic?

[Michael Luwoye]
No

[Nik Walker]
You know Clermont Street?

[Michael Luwoye]
Yeah

[Nik Walker]
We can't go there anymore, seriously, morale is low

[Michael Luwoye]
Oh

[Nik Walker]
And all we have to do is wait
[Michael Luwoye]
That’s a lot less work

[Nik Walker]
But look, it's gonna be great

[Michael Luwoye]
Why

[Nik Walker]
I know all this alone time makes you get in your head
But listen, we can say hello online instead

[Michael Luwoye]
Really?

[Nik Walker]
Do less. Wait more

[Michael Luwoye]
Ha

[Nik Walker]
Do whatever it takes to stay inside of your building's door

[Michael Luwoye]
Well, all this technology's confusing
[Nik Walker]
Well, hate the face, love the FaceTime

[Michael Luwoye]
What?

[Nik Walker]
I’m sorry dude, I’ve gotta go

[Michael Luwoye]
But—

[Nik Walker]
Here, download this app, we can't waste time

[Nik Walker]
Everybody in the whole world walks into a room
And they'll stay there for a week, bleak
They emerge just for groceries, or to drive around in their cars
New and antique, sleek
It's tough to be a theater person now
I know my HamFam all agrees
I wanna meet up with my friends, and laugh, and sing
And it's been three weeks since we started social distance
So we'll have to do the next best thing
[Nik Walker]
You gotta be in
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
You gotta be in
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
Looks so complicated but this thing is a breeze
Close some open windows or your picture might freeze
How the sausage gets made (How the sausage gets made)
Like a chat room where it happens
For now, I'll meet you in
The Zoom where it happens

Meanwhile, everyone is grappling with the fact
That changing the background often makes the picture gritty
Meanwhile, everyone is learning that they need to mute their microphones

[Michael Luwoye]
—out of toilet paper

[Nik Walker]
It isn't pretty

Look, I know you wanna hang, but don't be grouchy
Just listen to the words of Dr. Anthony Fauci

[FAUCI]
"Americans should be prepared that they're gonna have to hunker down significantly more—"

[Michael Luwoye]
I don't know

[Nik Walker]
But he's my bro!

[Michael Luwoye]
I suppose

[Nik Walker]
Didn't you want to work a little closer to home?

[Michael Luwoye]
Actually, I did

[Nik Walker]
Say, do you like this dance?

[Michael Luwoye]
Well, I can't see your feet

[Nik Walker]
That's 'cause I'm not wearing any pants!

[Michael Luwoye]
I see

[Nik Walker]
No!

[ENSEMBLE]
—one else is
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
No one else is in
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens
The Zoom where it happens

[Nik Walker]
My god

[Nik Walker & ENSEMBLE]
Say what you like
But we'll never really know 'til you unmute your mike
Click-boom then it happened

[Nik Walker & *COMPANY*]
I’ve got to be in the Zoom…
I’ve got to be...
*The Zoom where it happens*
I’ve got to be...
*The Zoom where it happens*
Oh, I’ve got to be in
*The Zoom where it happens*
I’ve got to be, (*The Zoom where it happens*)
I’ve gotta be
In the Zoom! (I wanna be in the room)
*Where it happens!*
Click-Zoom!