[TV Version Intro: Merchant & Jemaine]
I'm gonna count to ten...
Uh, are you counting in your head?
Yeah
What you up to?
Seven
Oh
Yeah, get your shitty bikes and get out of her before I peel your beard off

[Hook: Bret & (Jemaine)]
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
There's too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi' ('uckin' with my shi')
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi' (with my shi')
How many mutha'uckas?
Too many to count, mutha'uckas

[Verse 1: Jemaine (Bret)]
I pay my mutha'uckin' rent fortnightly
Mutha'uckas at the bank trying to play me
An amount from my account goes out on A/P (on A/P!)
Yeah, you know me
Mutha'ucka charge a two buck transaction fee
Makes my payment short, my rent comes back to me
Minus a twenty-five dollar penalty
So you fee'd me cause of your mutha'uckin' fee!
Read the word on my ATM slip
Said, "We're all mutha'uckas
And we're 'uckin' with your shi'," come on!
[Hook: Bret & (Jemaine)]
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(My transactional shi')
There's too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(My weekly statement shi')
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(With my balance shi')
How many mutha'uckas?
Too many to count, mutha'uckas!

[Verse 2: Bret]
The mutha'ucka runs a racist 'uckin' grocery
The mutha'ucka won't sell an apple to a Kiwi
The shi' fight's gonna get vicious and malicious
Cut the cra' ...'sh'...' I need my Red Delicious
Tells me as a Kiwi that my money isn't valid
Gonna dice the mutha'ucka like a mutha'uckin' fruit salad
Then... sh'... Granny Smith... f'...
...up... an avocado... ...'uck... 'an... 'n...
...'on...an' a mango... f'...
'k...'k and pop an apple in his ass, yeah!

[Hook: (Bret) & Jemaine]
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(I'm gonna juice the mutha'ucka)
There's too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(He's gonna wake up in a smoothie)
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my
[Outro: Bret & Jemaine]
Everybody come on!

Yeah
Too many mutha'uckas 'uckin' with my