If I could walk, I'd be a miner
If I could talk, I'd be a preacher

If I was a preacher
Tell you what: I'd save a million souls
If I was a miner
Tell you what: I'd be a damn good one

[applause]
And they... ha
And left us naked out here in the sun

I attach no importance to it
Just because of my hand
Just because of my shriveled little...
I couldn't be a baseball player

Doesn't surprise me now
Happens, aaah
Even though we had a map
It took three days to find
Couple of rednecks there
No punk rock
Taylor from Pismo

[applause]
At the dog and pony...!
This song is about an Italian gentleman who moved to New York... [grunts] And he has no job skills
Uh, so
He makes his fortune in the porno movie industry
I don-
I don't know why that's how he makes his fortune