[Verse 1]
Nothing is as it seems
When milking cows in Milton Keynes
And should you butcher them
The morning brings them back again

[Pre-Chorus]
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, give the man a hand
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, give the man a hand

[Verse 2]
Atop the crucifix
Metal boxes you may affix
On Sundays, they will hum
Within their cells like Franciscans

[Pre-Chorus]
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, give the man a hand
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, give the man a hand

[Chorus]
Gеntlemen and ladies, if you plеase
Give your warmest of welcomes, Tom Keating
Keynote speaker on the brochure
But we'll kick 'em in the balls just to be completely sure
[Verse 3]
The model's pursed lips
Packed in my tapioca hips
And should she lose her lunch
Her tits provide a salty punch

[Pre-Chorus]
Now ladies, gentlemen
Get up now, give the man a hand
Now ladies, gentlemen

[Chorus]
Gentlemen and ladies, if you please
Give your warmest of welcomes, Tom Keating
Keynote speaker on the brochure
But we'll kick 'em in the balls just to be completely sure
Gentlemen and ladies, if you please
Give your warmest of welcomes, Tom Keating
Keynote speaker on the brochure
But we'll kick 'em in the balls just to be completely sure