[Verse 1]
Hold the presses, Mickey
Hot news on the wire
Hundreds see an image of
A Guinness-drinking choir
Celebrities and cameras
Are headed to the scene
While presidents are fleeing
To their speeding limousines

[Pre-Chorus]
Don't worry
It's just stigmata
Pass me a napkin
And don't you dare tell my mother

Don't worry
It's just stigmata
Pass me a napkin
And don't you dare tell my mother

[Verse 2]
Your local programming
Interrupted
By the mindless banter
Of a soulless talking head
Roll out the red carpet
Dripping bloody tongue
Pay no mind to blue berets
And all their shining guns
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't worry
It's just stigmata
Pass me a napkin
And don't you dare tell my mother

Don't worry
It's just stigmata
Pass me a napkin
And don't you dare tell my mother

[Chorus]
Who you gonna call
When the man brings his hammer down?
Goose-stepping with
A smoking Irish fly

[Guitar Interlude]

[Verse 3]
And when our world is over
Children by the fire
Raise their hands and pray
That they may see a new Messiah
And somewhere in the darkness
A flag goes running by
The smell of cigarettes and love
Are incense for the fly
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't worry
It's just stigmata
Pass me a napkin
And don't you dare tell my mother

Don't worry
It's just stigmata
Pass me a napkin
And don't you dare tell my mother

[Chorus]
Who you gonna call
When the man brings his hammer down?
Goose-stepping with
A smoking Irish fly

Who you gonna call
When the man brings his hammer down?
Goose-stepping with
A smoking Irish fly

[Instrumental Outro]