[Verse 1]
I send pictures through the mail
Well-documented and very detailed
To politicians and big celebrities
But none of them are believing in me
And I await their response
Some send none, most send cops
But man, it’s a dire situation
And I will risk the public humiliation

[Chorus]
Sleestak lightning on my trail
It’s a dire situation, they are on my trail

[Verse 2]
West Virginia has its Mothman
Panhandlers got their skunk ape
But I have a taser and night vision goggles
Costco rolls of black duct tape
It's got red eyes, it's got razor claws
It's got green skin, no, it ain't a methhead
And after studying its behavior, objectively and critically
I believe I have a reliable method

[Chorus]
Sleestak lightning on my trail
It's a dire situation, they are on my trail
Sleestak lightning on my trail
There's no mistaking, they are on my trail
[Guitar Solo]

[Verse 3]
I send pictures through the mail
Well-documented and very detailed
To politicians and big celebrities
But none of them are believing in me

[Chorus]
Sleestak lightning on my trail
It’s a dire situation, they are on my trail
Sleestak lightning on my trail
There's no mistaking, they are on my trail
Chupacabras on my trail
It's a dire situation, they're on my trail
Sleestak lightning on my trail
There's no mistaking, they are on my trail