[Liz]
No offense but you were lucky to get her
I like you both the same - well, her a bit better
Your macho act can't hide the fact you adore her
Now she's gone like all the others before her

Fifteen, twenty, that's a few
This shit is old, and so are you

I relied on your success to direct me
Did you ever once think how this would affect me?
I'm a wreck and what the heck will you do now?
Go to Scores and tip a stripper or two now?

I don't know how it works today
But for you it only works one way

You meet someone
You move in together
She goes
You meet someone
You move in together
She goes
The girls may change in face and name
But one thing always stays the same
As sure as a baby cries and the river flows
She goes

Rob I'm talking to you as a friend now
Always been your friend, ah oop
I could say that it's not for you but why pretend now?
Honey why pretend? Ah oop
You know you shouldn't feel the slightest compunction
Oh no, wee oop
If you suffer from some down-below-there dysfunction
Woo

[Rob]
It's been really hard on me
So have a little sympathy

[Liz]
You meet someone
You move in together
She goes
Yeah she go-woes
Repeat this, hon'
You move in together
She goes
Girl just go-oh-oes, yeah ooh
It may start out butterflies and bows
But once the blush is off the rose
And the girl fin'lly figures out
That you'll never propose
No, no
She goes
Yeah she go-oh-oes

I stood by with all the others
Smiled away like Sally Struthers
Patient and supportive
Now you fin'lly got a winner
Did you even cook her dinner?
The answer's "no" I'm guessin'
And I'm full on P.M.S'in'
She's full on P.M.S.'in'

You meet someone
You move in together
She goes
Yeah she go-woes
Repeat this, hon'
You move in together
She goes
The girl just go-oh-oes, yeah
I can't fault you for consistency
Heaven knows

Now please don't take this as mean-hearted
But are you on crack or just retarded?

'Cause you meet someone
You move in together
A sweet someone and
Light as a feather
Mistreat someone and
Change like the weather
And she goes
Yeah she goes
Always goes
The girl just go-oh-oes