I Slept With Someone (Who Handled Kurt Cobain's Intervention)

I slept with someone

Who handled Kurt Cobain's intervention

He taught me all these tantric moves

And he's really good at Frenchin'



He's vibrant and creative

And makes salads that have flowers

He slathers me in oils

And massages me for hours

...and hours...and hours



He's caring and supportive

And gives me his full attention

I slept with someone

Who handled a dead rock star's intervention



Finally, a grown-up who always pays his bills

He's got insurance, self-assurance

Marketable skills

He's not like all the others:

Only one thing on the brain

But if I had my druthers

I'd have slept with Kurt Cobain



I slept with someone

Who handled Kurt Cobain's intervention

A fact which all too often

He's all too glad to mention



And what is there to brag about

I wouldn't go and shout it

'Cause it really didn't go so well

When you think about it



But I won't think about it

Or why my jaw keeps clenchin'

Or the fact that when he's mounting me

I feel this mounting tension



I slept with someone

Who handled Kurt Cobain's intervention