​​lhugueny
Beauty and the Beast the Musical
[VERSE 1]
There once lived a prince, in France so long ago
With the heart of a beast, but a castle decked in gold
He pissed off a witch, she cursed him and his staff
Made him frightening now he really needs a bath
But one day a man came seeking shelter
The Beast locked him up in a cage
Then his daughter ran in with a skelter
Traded spots with dad and was enraged

[Chorus 1]
Belle, Belle, Mademoiselle
We were all cursed by a spell
Turned us into junk and he to a Beast
Belle, Belle, Mademoiselle
LeFou's gay but we won't tell
Gaston had his fat ass on a leash

[VERSE 2]
She can break the curse, but we'll have to impress
So we invited her to come and be our guest
We dressed her up, and served her up a feast
But there's no damn way she could ever love that Beast
Then one night the pheromones were flying, Beast showed her such a good time
Then they used his mirror for some spying
Dad was in trouble, not so fine
Merde
[Chorus 2]
Stockholm Syndrome
Belle lives in her captor's home
They shared a dance and he let her go
Stockholm Syndrome
Belle missed him, she felt alone
She galloped back and stirred quite a show

[BRIDGE]
Belle begged the townsfolk to let her father go
But they thought he was crazy, so she showed them the Beast
Gaston had the swinging dick syndrome, so he led the angry mob to the castle
He tried to kill beast, but killed himself instead. Hopefully belle and beast will finally fall in love before the petals fall so I can be human again and get my peepee wet one last time

[Chorus 3]
Belle, Belle, Mademoiselle
She loves him, it broke the spell
Let's all just pray they never divorce
Belle, Belle, Mademoiselle
Happy end now all is well
Except who's gonna deal with that corpse?