[Verse 1]
Moanin' and a heavin' on a hot sticky can
I'm cravin' chocolate Ex-Lax and my G.E. fan
I'm taggin' on the wall how I got in this jam
And said, "M.S.G., money, margaritas, and my man"
Storin' up my supper coffee and my snacks
The shit's pilin' up; kinda feels like a cramp
Instant relief is what I need to ease
The mega colon that's inside of me

Nightmares of my dinner at the China doll
Thinkin' 'bout my wardrobe gonna get at the mall
TV Guide, Cosmo, I'm runnin' out of mags
And I just smoked a pack of my cool fags
Finger in my hole gettin' into the dig
There's cum stains on my panties and jizz in my wig
My man calls me cherry, think's I'm uptight
But I'm gonna blow him off 'cuz I'm dynamite

[Chorus 1]
She's Sandra H., not Sandra D
And my lady Yvonne standin' next to me
She said, "Holy shit," I said, "Yes, that is it"
Now our mega colon is a big, big hit

Mega colon
[Break]

[Verse 2]
Thinkin' 'bout my man it really makes me sick
The shit got soft, steamy, slick
It came out in a blast that was really foul
Forget the white cloud, I need the Bounty towel
I need a new life, I got to reform
I can't take my strife in this thunderstorm
I got to be strong, got to be brave
Don't wanna bear the title "Ms. Toilet Slave"

[Chorus 2]
I'm Sandra H. not Sandra D
With my lady Yvonne standin' next to me
We are fly white girls movin' in New York City
Our rhymes aren't tough but our faces are pretty
We were hangin' out in bars lookin' for a groom
When we met each other in the ladies room
She said, "Holy shit," I said, "Yes that is it"
Now mega colon is a big big hit

Mega colon

[Outro]
Fly white girls movin' in New York City
Fly white girls movin' in New York City
Fly white girls movin' in New York City
Fly white girls movin' in New York City
Fly white girls movin' in New York City