I'd just got into town I didn't have nothing to do
When I happened upon this telephone booth
With a whole bunch of writing covering one entire wall
It said if you ain't afraid to spend a dime and if you wanna have a real good time
Just give Lucille a call
Now underneath her number was this big long list said she'd do that
Said she'd do this
I let my fingers do the walking through all kinds of stuff I'd missed
Well, I shuffled through my pockets till I found myself a dime
I heard a ring or two and I got her on the line
And I said Lucille, I'd like to have a real good time

I mighta found a lover I mighta made a new friend
Well, I ain't had a real good time since I don't know when
Don't know when

She said well who are you and what is this
And I said it's Jim, Lucille, and it's about this list
Which I began to read with particular emphasis on my favorite numbers
1, 5, 11, 14, 22, 33, and 41 through 59
She said where are you and I gave her the street
She said you sound like a guy I'd love to meet
She said stay right where you are and I promise you a real good time

Mighta found a lover
Mighta made a new friend
I ain't had a real good time since I don't know when
'Bout 15 minutes after my arrest
In the middle of the questions I tried to protest
That I wasn't that phantom obscene phone caller master of crime

Before they took me away they allowed me one call
And I recalled that number on the phone booth wall
I said, Lucille, me and you got a altogether different idea about a real good time

I lost my lover
I lost my new friend
Well, you can't have a real good time
Doing 1 to 10
Hello, Lucille
Lookie here honey, I'm gonna be tied up here for quite awhile
And I was wondering in oh maybe about ten years or so
When I get out of here if you'd mind if I gave you a call
Hello? Hello? Lucille!